Busy sky

It’s sometime since the sky spoke

I ask of him his whereabouts

Being reluctant to speak

he mumbled

‘its in rains that I am most busy’

there is life to bloom

ponds to fill and pain to erase

I have to watch the raindrops

as sometimes she, the earth

is too fragile to hold my love

she never sheds a tear or lets out a murmur

her quickening breath or her sweating forehead

is my cue to hold, release and let go at times

besides, there are her children who look to me

in hope , despair sometimes in love or in prayer

I am here, there and everywhere

and its best that you walk to me

than I come to you

besides who knows what you can hold?’

He laughed loudly.

Of flow

I am thinking of energies that flow in and out, when people meet, converse, interact, engage. Some energies sync or synergize and some dont, relationships, friendships must be those energies which seem to draw on eachother and grow. So they flourish and grow over a period of time despite barriers, despite obstacles of any kind.

Yet we all try to connect to one another because our lives sort of force us to reach out and seek energies that help us to grow and bond.

So it is with my dear friend Soniya. I think of our friendship which has grown over many decades and how when we speak to eachother we overcome barriers of time, geography and we connect always as two girls who met in school and still meet. When I meet or talk to Soniya, Sofiya, Deepak, Aditi,Sheena, Sudha, Anwar, Naveen, Suvedi, Unni, Maya, BP……the connect is so quick and so instant that we just get into the groove without waiting for formalities. I am sure we all have such buddies who we treasure as they bring a smile to our faces no matter what.

Sometimes in our spirits’ desire to connect and grow we keep reaching out to souls but we may also sense a barrier or two in doing the same. These barriers could be ego ,some small misunderstandings, difference of opinion, differences in lifestyles.

What do we do in such cases? We just have to go with the flow and like water that hits an obstacle, change our course and continue to flow.

If that is the case then what are rejections, unrequited love,broken relationships, broken friendships and so on, they are nothing but small obstacles in our paths to sustain our spirit’s desire to connect and grow like roots do perhaps.

I remember someone speaking about being like water, ‘water indeed, with deep rooted memories, yet an ability to change course and a flexibility to change shape even!’

So is it that the ebb and flow of energies is what sustains our life?

of friendship

പുഴ പറയാത്തത്

നീണ്ടു നിവർന്നു കിടക്കണം
ഇടക്കൊന്നു എഴുന്നേറ്റു നടക്കണം
പറ്റുമെങ്കിൽ ഒന്നോടി നോക്കണം
ഇത്രൊയൊക്കെയേ ഞാൻ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നുള്ളു

എന്റെ വഴി മുടക്കുന്ന
എന്നെ തളച്ചിടാൻ മാത്രം ശ്രമിക്കുന്നവരോട്
ഞാൻ എന്ത് പറയാൻ എന്ത് ചോദിയ്ക്കാൻ

മലയും കടന്നു പുൽമേടുകൾ താണ്ടി
ഞാൻ പുറപ്പെടുന്നത് എന്തിനാണെന്ന്
അവർക്കറിയില്ലല്ലോ

ഉൾവിളിക്കൾ കേൾക്കാൻ മറന്ന
ആകാശത്തോടു ഗർവിക്കുന്ന
ഭൂമിയോടു ധാർഷ്ട്യം കാണിക്കുന്ന
മരങ്ങളോട് പുച്ഛം പുലർത്തുന്ന ഇവർ എന്ത് മനസ്സിലാക്കാൻ

ചേർന്ന് ഇരിക്കാൻ ഒരു കടലുണ്ടായിരുന്നെഗിൽ
ഇത്ര ദൂരം ഞാൻ യാത്ര ചെയ്യുമായിരുന്നോ

The Yam People

The yam trees stood tall and proud

in neat lines dressed in military green

against the rain and the winds

and dreamt of going deeper into the earth

unaware of the banyans and the peepals

the bending jackfruit trees or the coconut bearers

beneath the yam trees grew a yam people

walking with care in the rains

worried of deep furrows and puddles nay ponds

and then a yam child running naked in the rains

ran beneath a yam tree for shelter when

the pounding rains deepened the ponds

the furrows and the child cried loud

a old yam man ran out of his home

with a few youngsters in tow

to lift a grass blade and put it across the furrow

the little boy ran back to safety smiling

the mother wiped her tears

faraway in the skies the banyan and the jackfruit

caught each others glances and laughed aloud

a few leaves fell and the yam men ran back to their homes

their dreams were fragile so was their homes yet the hearts were strong

but the men and women above moved on as if nothing happened

It was a world they never knew of or will ever know.

Living

Time will not numb a pain

that is all too raw

it will sidestep it with

new experiences

and newer pains

and give other hurts

to nurse and lookafter

but till our time together again

we will think of you

and an ache deep will grow

in our hearts and reach our eyes

that will be so forever.

Ps: Balraj.K, brother forever

ആത്മഗതം

ഒരേ ചരടിൽ ചേർത്ത ജീവിതങ്ങൾ
വേർപിരിയാൻ വെമ്പുന്ന ആത്മാക്കൾ
കാലത്തിന്റെ കുരുക്കിൽ വീണ്ടും വീണ്ടും
വരിഞ്ഞ് മുറുക്കപ്പെടുമ്പോൾ
മുറിവേൽക്കുന്നതു ആർക്കാണ്

ആത്മാവിന്റെ നൊമ്പരം കഥകളിലൂടെയും
കവിതക്ളിലൂടെയും പറയുന്നവർ
ഒളിക്കുന്നതു എന്താണ്
ആരെയാണവർ പേടിക്കുന്നത്

കൂട്ടിൽ പെട്ട കിളികളെ പോലെ
സ്വന്തം ചിറക്കുകളെ കത്രിക്കുന്നവർ
എന്തിനാണ് സ്വയം നൊമ്പരപ്പെടുത്തുന്നത്
സ്വന്തം പീഡനത്തിലൂടെ ആരെയാണ്അവർ
മുറിവേല്പിക്കാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുന്നത്

ആകാശം താണ്ടി വരുന്ന സ്നേഹ സന്ദേശങ്ങൾ
അവരിൽ മാത്രം എത്താന് മടിക്കുന്നത് എന്ത് കൊണ്ടാണ്
കാറ്റിന്റെ മര്മരവും പക്ഷികളുടെ ചിലമ്പലും
അവരിൽ അലോരസം ഉളവാക്കുന്നതെന്തു കൊണ്ടാണ്

പകുതി പാടി നിർത്തിയ പാട്ടും
തീരാത്ത ദുഖവും എന്തിനാണ്
അവർ മറ്റുള്ളവർക്ക് സമ്മാനിക്കുന്നത്
അവർക്കു പറയാനുള്ള കഥകൾ ആരും കേട്ടില്ല എന്നായിരിക്കുമോ

Winding up

A sense of winding up has entered me and a restlessness that comes with it. Perhaps it is the reality that its time to get back to work or that I have to move out of this island of tranquility here at Kopparambil, away from the pouring rain, the orchestra of crickets and the sweet clamour of birds chirping away in a life of great busyness.

I am drawn to this place more than ever and to its ambience of calm remoteness, that the very thought of it is soothing to my heart.

Yet, work is there to complete. The research has to be wound up, completed, processes to be followed.

Then, perhaps then, a life here of writing, training, some travelling and of making ice creams, yes, loads and loads of ice creams,home made and ready to be sold, hmmm… that sounds inviting somehow, very appealing and it is just early morning and I am back to dreaming!

That picture sort of appeals to me. A few years back I fancied being a cab driver, that should be great fun or so I thought, to whiz past the city and have some good conversation, will it be good always, hmmm maynot be so, still it is worth a try. I was tempted really, still am.

Then it was to sell cookies and coffee, which I kind of do well I guess. So, a cafe with books to read and a lady of some reading as company should be a cool idea. So I thought and I still do.

Now its the ice cream that I want to make, loads of it, then dance classes to run and to attend too, lots of writing, some training and the birds chirping and the crickets busy at their orchestra, sounds interesting…. well, life has always sprung surprises, so I can merely give suggestions, after all its is for Him to dispose!

But the break has been good. It was great to be the kid who appreciates the blessings of pampering by parents. It was great to be allowed to sit and read and write and be taken care of. It was great to listen to stories, my childhood, his childhood, what they did, how they did, there we went, there we did not go and how it all happened… stories galore!

Mostly the abundance of a village home, of plenty of jack fruits, mangoes, guava, tapioca, all sorts of berries and greens which cross fences and reach your dining table, in an eagerness to be consumed and well appreciated for being who they are and the constant jostling of parents, ‘look at him’, ‘see, this is how he is’ and then the little things you do that seem to make their lives easy, add this contact, shut this noise, book that, visit the atm, buy this medicine, call that person, somehow making you feel somewhat useful and rather important.

But now its is time to pack up!!!

And I am hugely reluctant!!! Life!!!

Dear sky

Dear sky

when was it that you chose to walk into my soul

clear a few dark clouds to park your sunshine

and decided to stay on causing bright smiles

to bloom on a face given to fantasies

peeping into eyes much given to daydreams

and sleepwalking in the mornings

what made you choose me

of all the beautiful lives around

so that tears and joys have since

divided a heart into equal portions

with some mischief and hope thrown in

that I wonder if I am floating by

or just living on

really!!!

yeah really so!!!

so much so that if death were to come by

without formalities of invitation or notice

I might just walk behind head stooped in newbride’s blush

meek and ready, take me, I am yours, I would sure tell him

yeah really

really so!!!

Drive again & Teachers missing classrooms

Now, its sometime since I sold my car and driving, I thought has slipped off my skill set. And Kerala, with its narrow roads and screaming buses somehow intimidated me.

Yet, when my uncle wanted a lift to the bus stop a good three years earlier in Calicut, he asked me to take out my cousin’s car. ‘It’s not mine no’, I said a bit apprehensive. ‘Ha ha,’ he laughed, ‘the car doesnot know that it not Gopi driving it,’ he said in jest.

I took out car under the watchful eyes of the owner’s father and took this gentleman to the bus stop and returned home, happy at having completed the task.

I wondered at Nandan chetan’s clarity of thought and how I am muddled in confusions which have no standing.

Despite much trepidation I decided to take the car here at Kopparambil, again that of another uncle and applied Nandan chetan’s logic, ‘of course, car does not know that it’s me. And the roads, well, they don’t know either that I come from Bangalore’, ha ha, I laughed to myself.

I had started off to go to Avnissery to visit the family temple but en route decided to head to Chakkamparambil Temple at Ashtamichira, Mala. Once on the road, I was thrilled to bits at the rush of fresh air and the sheer feeling of holding the steering wheel in my own two hands. What a pleasure!

Perhaps, being ‘bekaar’, I was also a bit ‘bebus’ or helpless, I thought to myself. And well, I dropped at my teacher friend, Maya’s beautiful home uninvited.

Of the many things that Maya does, she is a fantastic cook, she loves tailoring, has the most beautiful smile on the planet but most ardently, right at the core of her, she is a dedicated teacher, who enjoys her time in the classroom.

The moment she starts to share about her classroom, her eyes twinkle, her hands wave about in excitement and well, ‘Lekha, we teachers get a lot of love and affection from our students, don’t we, and that is a major missing due to this corona’. ‘Actually it is so acute that it pulls me down sometimes, she smiled a bit sadly flashing her famous dimple.

Petting her lab, Happy, she said, ‘this girl is my best buddy, see, she is so excited to see you!’

I thought of all the teachers who are struggling with the digital screens and sorely missing the human touch, when the world is sneering at them for ‘less workload’ and ‘ease of work’.

Really !!! the teaching community is constantly missing the classroom interaction as much as the students do and like the students themselves, they are itching for the noise in the corridors, in the classrooms and the rush of walking up and down, with the purpose of ‘making lives better’ and the pretext of adding value to lives they touch.

The new normal is rather abnormal, don’t you think?

Different strokes

We sat down

spreading our differences

color, caste, faith, height, weight

‘yeah,that’s big’ he laughed

place, food, belief, speech

‘go on’, he said

‘keep them down he said

and now just stand up

bottled souls

genies’

he burst out at seams

laughter broke his bones

bent his muscles

crinkled his nose

crushed his weight

squished his cheeks

puffed his ears

thumped his chest

and he walked away winking.

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