Adhyapika

3 movies – 3 languages – Netflix

January 29th, 2023
We are in times were entertainment is immediately accessible. The OTT platforms is a boon for someone like me who love to tell stories as much as to listen to it or watch it. What better medium is available for story telling than the cinema?

As Pathan rides high in the theatres, I caught up with three films in three days, a romedy called 18 pages in Telugu, Action Hero in Hindi and Kaappa in Malayalam.

While Kaappa seemed to be a rehash of similar themes and stood out only for the slow menace in Prithviraj’s movements, and 18 pages touched a tender cord of love and longing, I was thrilled by Ayushman Khurana’s Action Hero.

Catch them now on Netflix.

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Life as a river – Morning Meditations

January 17th, 2023
Have you ever thought of life as a river? A stream of continuous emotions, thoughts, actions and experiences, a mixed bag, an ever changing eco system.
Have you ever thought of life as a river that is fed by multiple inlets of streams, small rivulets that replenish it from hills and plains of varied experiences alike?
Have you ever thought of life as river that needs multiple sources of joy, of love, of appreciation, of expression so that the life energies are well expended?
As a river that is in a state of flux, life demands that we explore multiple areas of self expression, that are creative, challenging and therefore, satisfying.
As you and I explore, new forms of art, new areas to travel to, new problems to work on, new ways to contribute to the society, life looks more interesting.
Let’s then have multiple rivulets of joy, love, appreciation, expression in our life, so that we don’t burden those in our immediate surroundings with our need for validation.
Let’s replenish our river of life and may new experiences of joy and abundance visit us more frequently!

Life as a river
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കാത്തിരിപ്പിന്റെ ക്ഷീണം

April 16th, 2021
സൗഹ്രദം
അറിയാതെ തുടങ്ങിയതായിരുന്നു
വേണ്ടെന്നു വിചാരിച്ചിട്ടും

നർമ്മം എന്നും ഒരു മോഹമായതോണ്ടായിരിക്കും
അങ്ങനെ സംഭവിച്ചത്

സഖി അതിഥി സൽക്കാരത്തിന് തുനിഞ്ഞത്
ഒരു സപ്ന സാക്ഷാത്ക്കാരത്തിനു വേണ്ടി ആയിരുന്നു

ഒരു തുടക്കം എങ്ങോട്ടോ ഉള്ള ഒരു തുടക്കം
അല്ലെങ്കിൽ നിശബ്ദതയുടെ കോട്ടക്ക് ഒരു അനക്കം

സത്യത്തിൽ ജീവിതത്തിൽ സ്വയം സന്തോഷിക്കാൻ
പഠിച്ച,

സ്വയം ജയിക്കാൻ പഠിച്ച,

സ്വയം പ്രോത്സാഹിപ്പിക്കാൻ പഠിച്ച
സഖിക്ക്,

അങ്ങനെയും ആഗ്രഹമുണ്ടാകുമെന്നു ഞാൻ വിചാരിച്ചില്ല

എന്നാലും രണ്ടു നല്ല വർത്തമാനം ആഗ്രഹിക്കാത്തവരുണ്ടോ
ഇത്തിരി തമാശയും കളിയും വേണ്ട എന്ന ആരാണ് വിചാരിക്കുന്നത്

ആമി പറഞ്ഞു, നീ ഇന്നും കുട്ടി തന്നെ എങ്ങനെ സാധിക്കുന്നു നിനക്ക്

വാങ്ങി വച്ച വീഞ്ഞ് കുപ്പി എടുത്തവൾ തുറന്നു
രാത്രി ഇത്തിരി വീഞ്ഞാവാം എന്താ
ആവാലോ. ഉത്തരവും അവൾ തന്നെ പറഞ്ഞു

എങ്കിലും ഒരു മാറ്റത്തിനുള്ള വകയുണ്ടല്ലോ?

ആണോ, ഞാൻ ചോദിച്ചു

പിന്നെ ഒന്നിലെങ്കിൽ മോസസ് അല്ലെങ്കിൽ ജീസസ്

എന്ത്?
ഒന്നുമില്ല
സഖി പറഞ്ഞു
അല്ലെങ്കിലും പകുതി തിന്നും, അവൾ എന്ത് പറയുമ്പോഴും

ചിരി കൊള്ളാം
എന്നും കാണണം എനിക്കീ ഇളി
ഹും

എന്നും ഒരേ പോലെ അല്ലല്ലോ ജീവിതം
എല്ലാം മാറും
എന്റെ ജീവിതവും, തത്വജ്ഞാനി മൊഴിഞ്ഞു

സിഗരറ്റ് കുറ്റി വലിച്ചു ഞാൻ പുറത്തേക്കിറങ്ങി
പെണ്ണിനെ ആർക്കും മനസിലാക്കാം!
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കുഞ്ഞി പൂവ്

March 6th, 2021
കുഞ്ഞി പൂവ്- short story

കുഞ്ഞി പൂവ്

ഉദ്യാന പാലകൻ തന്ടെ നീണ്ട ഇരുമ്പു കത്രിക പല വട്ടം ചലിപ്പിച്ചു. അരോചകമായ ആ ശബ്ദം കുഞ്ഞി പൂവിനെ ഭയപ്പെടുത്തി. അയാളുടെ നടന്നടുക്കുന്ന കാലൊച്ച അവളെ വിയർപ്പിലാഴ്ത്തി.

വരുന്നുണ്ട് ദുഷ്ടൻ, കുഞ്ഞി പൂവ് നെടുവീർപ്പിട്ടു.

കൂട്ടത്തിൽ ഉയരം കൂടിയ അവൾ സൂര്യനെ പ്രേമിച്ചു തുടങ്ങിയിരുന്നു. തന്ടെ നീണ്ട കഴുത്തു നീട്ടി അവൾ അവനെ നിർനിമിഷം നോക്കി കൊണ്ടിരിന്നു.

ഇടക്കെങ്കിലും ചുറ്റിനുമുള്ളവർ അവളെ കളിയാക്കാതിരുന്നില്ല . ഒരു മുടിഞ്ഞ പ്രേമം, പെണ്ണിന് പിരാന്താ. അല്ലെങ്കിൽ പിന്നെ അയാൾ നിന്നെ അങ്ങ് ദൂരെ നിന്ന് നോക്കിയിരിക്കുകയല്ലേ. വേറെ പണി ഒന്നും ഇല്ലല്ലോ മൂപ്പർക്ക്. എത്ര പൂക്കൾ, എത്ര കാടുകൾ, മഴ, മേഘം, ഭൂമി, എത്ര പ്രണയിനിമാർ , പിന്നെ എന്തൊക്കെ തിരക്കണയാൾക്കു , സ്വന്തം അവസ്ഥക്ക് നിരക്കണം പ്രേമം.

അവർ പുച്ഛിച്ചു, അല്ലാണ്ട്, വട്ടു അല്ലാതെന്താ.
കുഞ്ഞി പൂവ് ഒന്നിന്നും ചെവി കൊടുക്കാറില്ല.

വളരെ കാലത്തേ പ്രാർത്ഥനയും പ്രയത്നവും കൊണ്ട് ഉണ്ടായതാ താൻ . അത്ര മോശവമാവാൻ തരമില്ല അല്ലെ. അവൾ സമാധാനിച്ചു. പിന്നെ പ്രേമം അതൊരു തപസ്യയല്ലേ. ഇതുങ്ങൾക്കു എന്തറിയാണ്. പോട്ടെ അത്രേ വിവരമുള്ളു.

അല്ലെങ്കിലും നൈമിഷികമല്ലേ ഈ ജീവിതം. കരഞ്ഞു കൊണ്ടിരിക്കാനാണെങ്കിൽ പൂവായി ജനിച്ചിട്ടെന്തു കാര്യം അല്ലെ?

കാലൻ അടുത്തെത്തുന്നു എന്നാലും മോഹം വണ്ടായി പറക്കുന്നു ചുറ്റും, തന്ടെ നീണ്ട കഴുത്തിനെ തലോടിയ വണ്ടിനോടവൾ മുറുമുറുത്തു.

ആറ്റിട്യൂട് വേണം ആറ്റിട്യൂട് അല്ലാണ്ട് ഹ ഹ
കുഞ്ഞി പൂവ് തന്ടെ അഹങ്കാരത്തിനെ ഓർത്തു തല താഴ്ത്തി.

സൂര്യനോടായി അവൾ മൊഴിഞ്ഞു എല്ലാം നീയല്ലേ, ഞാൻ ആര്. നീയില്ലാതെ ഞാനെന്തു?

ഉദ്യാനപാലകൻ നടന്നടുത്തു. കളസം പിടിച്ചു വലിച്ചു നേരെയാക്കി ചിന്ത മഗ്നനായി നില കൊണ്ടു.

പൂക്കൾ ഒന്നടങ്കം വിയർത്തു കുളിച്ചു. ഇനി അസ്തമനം മാത്രം.

എല്ലാറ്റിനെയും വെട്ടിയും നുറുക്കിയും ശരിയാക്കാൻ എന്താണ് മനുഷ്യന് മാത്രം ഇത്ര ആക്രാന്തം, അവർ അമ്പരന്നു.

എന്തിനീ ദുർവാശി മനുഷ്യ, ജീവിച്ചോട്ടെ ഞങ്ങളും

ആര് കേൾക്കാൻ ?

ചലിക്കുന്ന കത്രിക പല രക്ത സാക്ഷികളെയും സൃഷ്ടിച്ചു. ചിതറി കിടക്കുന്ന ഒരു കുന്നു പൂ തലകൾ.

അശ്രദ്ദയോടെ ഉദ്യാനപാലകൻ കാൽ കൊണ്ട് അവയെ എടുത്തു മാറ്റി, മുന്നോട്ടു നടന്നു, പെട്ടെന്നുയർന്ന പൊടി പടലം അയാളെ അലട്ടി. കത്രിക മടക്കി അയാൾ നിവര്ന്നു നിന്നു.

ദൂരെ നിന്ന് സൂര്യൻ ഒന്ന് പുഞ്ചിരിച്ചു. ഉദ്യാനപാലകൻ തിരിഞ്ഞു നടന്നു. കുളിർ കാറ്റ് ഒരു നോവും ഒരു സ്വാന്തനവും ആയി വീണ്ടും വീശി.

rakthasakhshikkal
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Another incident – Short story

January 25th, 2016
Beefy biceps sunk, the massive shoulders hunched the man sat studying his palms in silence.

Tiny rivulets ran down his cheeks and on reaching his mustache lost their way sprinkling down on to his trimmed beard.

A drop or two fell in to the girls hands. She held the face up ,looked into the eyes and said slowly, this is not because of you.

He nodded and clenched his fists with a self deprecating shrug.

Its not because of you,father, the girl said again. Her feet cut her dress torn,her body wrecked but her spirit intact.

She looked at the silhouette of the man,her father. More than the assault on her body, the crumpled ego of her father pained her.

Its awkward to be discovered the way she was that too by her father. Its even more awkward when her father sits down in a corner and sobs to himself.

She had come to this garden many times before. She had often been to her friends house before for a home work, for a project and they had sat together until late evening to complete it.

Time stretched itself with Bollywood gossip and aunty’s yummy snacks. This time when Rama called her, she took off on her bicycle in no time. She shouted out that she will be back from her friend’s place in an hour.

At Rama’s house, she knocked on the door and uncle opened it. She had always thought that he looked at her strangely. She was careful to stay miles away from him.

Once or twice when she had gone to Rama’s house on Diwali, the man had hugged her, and she had wriggled free out of his arms. But she loved talking to Rama and aunt so much that, she did not give it much thought. She kept visiting them.

That evening, her bag slung on her shoulder, she stepped in happily. She had no idea that Rama had gone out with her mother to meet someone urgently. When the man tried to assault her she fled, pushing him away and fell on the road, tripping on a rock. She lay there bleeding when her father came looking for her.

She hadn’t expected her father to pick up a quarrel or fight the devil but she was shocked at his reaction. After rushing to her hurriedly and helping her to get back on her feet, he stood shaken, sobbing.

Nothing is amiss,Pa.I am alright. Let’s go home.

They walked home in silence.

She narrated the incident to her mother. Angry and outraged her mother picked up the sickle and threatened to cut the old man’s head.

There’s no use, ma. Nobody will believe us.

I will be careful hereafter. I will not go there.Besides, I love Rama. I don’t want her and auntie to feel hurt. Let’s not talk about this again.I am OK. I know to take care of myself.

She glanced at the hunched shoulders of her father and picked up her books. Her fight was hers alone. She sighed.
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Anu steps out

May 29th, 2023
So, it is a Sunday and that is the time when normal humans chill, relax and say wtf to life in general. That should be the norm so Anu decided to do the same.

Besides, it has been ages since she stepped out like that alone!!! Aaahhh!!! Help!!!

The plan was laid out a day before yet on the appointed day, she woke up with butterflies in her stomach.

Oh! I have to go out. Wear something nice… the distance from her door to the gate of the apartment complex looked scary. Transport, no teleport pleaseee….

She waited like a burglar for the blanket of darkness I mean morning brightness, figuring out that in the height of noon with the Sun blazing from above, not a soul should be found outside. She will not have to look up and explain, ‘ So, you are……’.

Cold sweat broke out on her damp nose under the blazing sun. She put on a dress and covered herself with a shrug, to add another layer of hiding, she picked up her umbrella and walked, no hopped, no it was walking only, but maybe a little quick… She rushed to the road, a few eyes stuck to her, oh! god look away, look away, her heart cried as she gathered her shrug and umbrella closer to herself.

Then came the savior, the auto wala bhaiya and she lunged forward, pushing aside pedestrians, oops!!! there were none, the auntie selling coconuts looked worried said, ‘ yeah, he is waiting, hmm waiting’ as if she could read her pain.

Hopping into the auto she cried, ‘bhaiyaji, jaldi chalo theatre!!!’, it was not a chase but it looked like one and finally she landed at the theatre. Bravery struck and she sat upright, maybe uptight. Families posed for groupies, she wanted a selfie too but was hesitant and smiled uncomfortably at her phone.

She picked it up a few times and pretended to talk to someone, then acting really busy, she frowned continuously making suitable clucking noises demonstrating the busyness of her success.

Even before the film started waters cascaded from her eyes followed by muffled sniffles and silenced bawls that one man turned around curiously!

Not me! she pointed at the person sitting next to her.

Well! after her grand adventure while resting at home, I approached to ask her a few questions but she shooed me away!

Oh! the film, I think she was watching her own movie in her head, self obsession is something after all! And I know these socially anxious types very well!!
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No man is an island, yet he is

May 28th, 2023
The crowd has done nothing to reduce loneliness in the hearts.

The abundance of food, the numerous innovative delicacies have not yet satisfied the hungry stomachs.

The variety of liquids, colored,uncolored, spiked and simple have failed to quench the thirst.

The newest of fabrics and the cheapest of them have still not reached the naked.

All the sky scrapers in the world have not yet found home for the homeless.

Packed schedules and tight timelines have not yet killed boredom.

All the prayers and the rituals have not yet brought peace.

Nor has he the spiritual found his island of happiness.

And wealth has not yet earned true love and respect.

Yet,no man is an island.

And he is.
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2018- A Must Watch Malayalam Movie!

May 28th, 2023
Climate change is hitting hard, closer home and yes, the cinema is sitting up to notice it. Malayan Kunju and now this!!!! 2018 is epic, it took me back to the time when I as a 7 year old sat in a Vijayawada theatre, praying for my dear life, looking at the large white shark that loomed on the screen and that was Jaws!!!

With great acting, a great range of emotions at play, stories and sub stories which underline the terror of a natural eh! man made disaster and how it unites the men folk to overcome it.

I guess fighting it out is an anomaly, how does one fight what one creates??? Where climatic changes orchestrated by the Anthropocene?

Go catch it the nearest theatre and if you are like me, cry an ocean while at it!!!

https://youtu.be/Af3cjNPhM4o
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Life thrives in art

May 26th, 2023
Where music thrives

where a step to it is always welcome

where laughter waits in to spring a surprise

friends are always happy to join

poetry being its very essence

Shakespeare, Browning and Kalidasa

are buddies to sleep with and wake up to

a bit of play of voice and some strutting drama

is part of living , breathing stories that cry and laugh

the warmth of love in the morning sun , the hugs and kisses

that come with the evening sky paling into the darkness of the night

a trip to nature, a heart of compassion, love and care for one another grows

into that life dear universe, take my soul, into that company shall I be held dear.
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Sky thoughts

May 21st, 2023
The sky decides to stay

pushes darkness

to shine light

right into the soul

yet, the heart being what it is

asks for more

yearns for evening tea times

walk in the parks

customary questions

of howdoyoudos and whatdoyoudos

small island of smaller joys

built on steady work

silent anguish

is solid yet…..

hope grows

feeding on itself

need and fear

balance themselves out

the sky then is an enigma

ways of the world

are stranger than life itself

not to speak of the heart!!!
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May 14th, 2023
Daily writing prompt
What does freedom mean to you?
View all responses

Freedom to be who I am. To write, to love, to be loved, to travel, to speak, to be able to take care of and be taken care of, to be able to build is what freedom means to me. To be let alone, and to be allowed company when I so choose. To breathe easy, to dance even as I don’t know it, to listen to music of all kinds, to dress well, and be carefree when I want to be, to express just as much, only when I want, to only those I choose to, in ways and means that suit me….that is freedom to me.
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Dear reader

May 7th, 2023
Dear reader

as I commit myself to more writing

I am glad you stopped by

thought it fit to ponder

or perhaps just scroll past

the musings of a mind

prone to dreaming

often tempered by pain

yet finding foot in smiles

anchoring in hope

what else is there to hold on

coz no man stood long enough

or thought it worth while to share

or look in the eye and

lend a smile, that meant something more

so yes, you dear readers have been my anchor

pausing, perhaps glancing at the

scribbles of a scribe who was never born

whose dreams of being one were scuttled

when she was too young

who learnt to walk the path

slowly, painfully, yet steadily progressing

so thank you, gracias

you have made a difference to my life.

( when a passport becomes a reality, this humble lover of words hopes to see the places you come from and breathe in the air you breathe before she breathes her last! Thathastu to that!!!)
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Chokehold -2023- A review

April 22nd, 2023
What is, is not what it is!!!

I stumbled upon Chokehold on Netflix, while I was thinking about how we are trapped in situations, among people, habits, circumstances, practices, culture, upbringing society and so on, sometimes willingly, many a time most unwillingly.

The idea of how a story is cooked with the right amount of music, dialogue, acting, setting, story telling, light, movement to give it a certain life that it continues to live in the cinema, never sort of stops to amuse me.

Well! Chokehold is a one hell of a film that does not lead you to where you are thinking to be led to, catching you by surprise at every turn and filled with some awesome acting too!

‘Chokehold’ (2023) Netflix Movie. Review: An Interesting Suspense Thriller
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Padma- A review

March 29th, 2023
I watched Anoop Menon’s Padma with interest because of the effervescent Surabhi but also because of the story.

Our desire to fit in makes a joke of us many a time. The desire for validation, to be told, ‘you are ok’, even by random strangers, makes most of us behave in the most nonsensical manner.

Andrew my cat, preens to catch our attention, sits right in between my daughter and myself when we are watching a film, sips water when we grab a cup of coffee and so on, we all, just like Andrew, the handsome cat, want to belong.

Life though, ruthlessly throws us into situations which again and again bring to fore our anxieties, our inner most fears, mocking our sham of confidence, tearing apart the mask, and we shudder, with a feeling of being an ‘imposter’ in most circumstances.

Perhaps to truly belong, one has to go back to one’s roots, learn to be self accepting and self embracing, because if without the validation of the image in the mirror, what magic can outsiders do?

So, just be you! Always, anyways, unapologetically you!!!

Padma being padma, just that is life in the true sense.
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Extraordinary gift of being ordinary

March 21st, 2023
Sometimes we rue our ordinary existence. Our life devoid of luxuries, joys of being rich and spoilt, of the continuous need to toil for basics and moon over the superlative lives of the rich and famous.

Ah! how foolish are we, not to realize the supreme value of being ordinary, an ordinary teacher, a postmaster, the regular clerk, the cook, the small shop owner, the bank manager, the corner shop wallah and so on.

The longer you exist on the planet, the more you revel at extraordinary nature of being plain ordinary, the richness of being common place, the small evening gatherings, the trips to the cinema hall, the boring, uninteresting activities like reading a book, enjoying a Sunday evening by yourself, or the pleasures of simple gardening.

The social media makes us believe that the roadside ‘samosa’ can’t stand a chance against the fashionable ‘meringue’, but don’t fall for the trap and believe that you are worthless because you are ordinary.

Believe instead in the extraordinary worth of being ordinary, plain, just normal, even average…

My brother, who passed away in 2013 was a man of a few ambitions, did want nothing great or flashy for himself ever, was happy just being with his family, his mom, dad and his sister. Yes, he wanted to have a family of his own, but again, he dreamt of marrying a simple girl, leading a simpler life, and a small job to run his home. Fate did not allow him to pursue this ordinary wish, yet, he left a lesson to be well remembered and learnt that ‘ordinary’ is not what it seems, it is but truly beyond the extraordinary!

So, celebrate yourself. If you have missed a few chances at greatness, so be it, keep trying, do not be complacent, but know also that living a normal life is great against ‘living a life that is presumed to be extraordinary!’

Cheers to the pleasures of an ordinary life!
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