Many many years ago in a moment of divine providence, energies of the universe, those omnipotent, omniscient powers of the cosmos came together and viola!!! created a human being of purrrfection and thus came about a person of…. no not Einstein, not the Gandhi not the mahatma but a soul so purrfect, yours truly…
Ladies and gentlemen, my fellow partners in purrrfection, I am delighted to be in this nation of ……amongst you all purrfect sentient beings who are at times a little impatient with impurrrfections .. In the mornings therefore, we take our purrrfect pets and the bow wow ones out for a stroll , so that they can do what we do in our private places, ahem … in public places……truly.
Ladies and gentlemen we cannot tolerate impurrrfections as in the woman who slept with four men and had as many children… nor that girl all of 14 who dared to sleep with a man of 41… or that man who dared eat beef when he had the choice of having caviar with the choicest of wines…
That is why we don’t see the truly gifted amongst us.. we have an eye for perfection you see ! So when we meet a challenged individual, we would rather look away than make eye contact, shake a hand or smile,that’s easier, definitely.
We dislike that chaiwallah , the narcissist, who loves his pictures to be perfect ….forgetting that it is certainly beyond his wildest dreams to be so petted and feted by who’s who of the world. Come on, selfies, we care not for them!!! And the other, the prince charming who is willy nilly dragged to public podiums and we will always remember how he copied a note from his pocket..Chi.. chi.. we never do that, do we? Except in exams, maybe!!!
So we have those separate cups for the VIPs the ones with out whom your lives will spiral out of control and probably send us hurtling towards an asylum… the maids …hmm we are …. aren’t we? We want our children to come first and only first and the scores have to be 98% .. we can’t accept any thing below…
That is why Kanakambal and Husmat biwi start their mornings practicing throw ball, throwing rolled out garbage as far as they can with their adoring husbands encouraging them .. throw, darling throw as far as you can, as high as you can, I am with you .. after all the house has to be kept clean!!!
So we have faiths where one has lost the count of the gods , with a new one springing out every minute and the others are fighting over the one they have and when time permits we fight it out against each other. Its is a matter of faith after all!!!
The aspiration for purrrfection is so ingrained in our genes that glory was ours in the past and we don’t expect the world not to know about our greatness, nor will we forgive anyone their ignorance..
Purrfection is our national creed,so when the traffic police wearing her khakhi dress with jasmine flowers peeping out from beneath her topi, a nose pin adorning her face stops us, we cannot stand it,so abuses are hurled after all isn’t punctuality is our middle name?
So my friends of the purrfect place on the planet,the nation wants to know ,is there any impurrfection in you ?
Over to you, toastmaster