a to z challenge

The dictionary defines a  Bachelorette as a young unmarried woman who lives alone, an adult female or a  bachelor girl.  The rather unpleasant and harsh sounding  word,spinster, according to the dictionary refers to an unmarried woman, typically an older woman beyond the usual age for marriage.

I am fortunate to interact with many a happy bachelorette not exactly pining for male attention.And I wonder why there’s not more of them in literature.

Even the most progressive and open- minded of parents tend to get uneasy at the sight of their happily aging daughter who refuses to ‘settle down’. One such happy young female approaching thirty wrote  a letter to her father. She said that for all these years her wonderful,adoring father and her supportive mom had taken pride in her ability to stand up for herself, find her own way,run a business, manage a job, excel at art, speak her mind and in general be a woman of substance. She complains of how she is unable to comprehend their sudden haste to get her married now. She reminds her dad of his pet name for her ‘Sher ka bacha, the child of lion’ asking him to let her be and lose his peace of mind over her.

Fervent calls from the ‘concerned and caring’ in the extended family, the news of their peers becoming granddads and grandmoms, their own concerns as to who will look after her once we are gone etc must be gnawing at the heart of her parents..


Available literature about unmarried woman is not very uplifting either. W.H.Auden’s unhappy spinster who succumbed to sarcoma creates a rather scary picture. In most evening soaps on the television, there is the villainous unmarried sister who cannot tolerate the joy of companionship in her family.There’s a seldom an unmarried woman who lived happily in popular imagery unless she’s Mary Poppins. But, of course, she could fly!

While a bachelor status can work in your favour in the society, the spinster status can make you worthy of  distrust, unwanted curiosity, unsolicited advice and what not?

Marriage does not make many happy, yet married people rush to  thrust it as a compulsion upon young people who think differently.

Ironic, to say the least!



a to z challengeI love the word Amazingo. Its mine. Its my expression of joy, of achievement,of celebration, of reaching a new mile stone.

I was fence sitting on a decision to start something when an external validation, in the form of a friend asking me , so when are planning to start those classes? came and I committed without blinking an eye, coming Sunday. I also  charged her with the task of finding out if others  would be interested in joining the class. Yesterday, she came back telling me that  7 ladies and 2 gentlemen cool as cucumber, consider it worth while to spend their time in learning. I am thrilled, obviously. In taking classes in communication I would be doing just what I love to do.

In fact, spending more time and energy on things you love to do, that which comes naturally to you can pay you high dividends. That’s what the Pareto Principle says.

Initially the Pareto Principle was a reference to the observation that 80% of Italy’s wealth belonged to 20% of the population. But applying it widely one understands that life is not all about even distribution.

So one observes that 20% of workers contribute 80%  towards work in a company. 20% of a company’s services  bring  80% of  revenues.20% of what you love doing can bring you 80% of joy and prosperity.

I wonder why then school education should be all about pushing unwanted information down the throat of the student. If the student could choose what to learn on the basis of his likes and dislikes, learning would be so much more joyful an experience. Yes, not every body would want to  become an engineer or doctor then.  

But if  a child chose dance over regular studies, will he be allowed to do that?