Tried and Tested Relationship Advisor

So you should watch after her. Keep your eyes open. Who does she text? Where does she go? Try and follow. Keep a track. Keep assuring her of your support. She will realize your power sooner than later. You see, I am able to see in her (trust my ability to see, to foresee) a gnawing guilt. A guilt that is eating into her heart. Did she make you coffee and look at you lingeringly? It says something. It says that she is perhaps regretting her misdemeanors. Her small little perversions.She is willing to reconcile. In between I suggest you crack 1 or 2 jokes, a filmy dialogue here and there. Remember, that does it with these women. They always fall for it. Right now I am searching for the right dialogue, once I find I will surely share it with you. In the mean while keep telling me of your problems, pour some water to the tree on the left side of the right side of your home. Paste some chandan on the right side of your left nose, keep it there. Its fragrance can have a magnetic effect on her. If at all she falls for it remember she is going to stay with you, provide for you, care for you, serve you.Try going to her in the dead of the night, dripped in sandal wood oil, say this mantra 10 times in silence 20 times aloud, 30 times facing east and 40 times facing west. That should really do it, remove all the obstacles in your married life. Perhaps you two could happily be sleeping together after. I have been trying to apply this formula at my home and have found some success. I even got a cup of tea from her with ginger in it. More over though I have not really been productive for the past 6-7 years and she has not yet thrown me out. I just muster some tears in my eyes every time my joblessness is brought up.Trust me , there is power in the emotions and the puja.  Rest assured. The planets are watching her every move and I am your only interpreter on the earth.For more tips and ideas to reign in your way ward spouse, call me or better still visit me after my wife leaves for her office. We will talk it over a cup of coffee.

Ps: Carry your purse while visiting

Yours truly, trusted and tested

the one and only relationship adviser in town

specializes in divinity,proximity to spirits above and below 🙂

 

 

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Individual brilliance,Collective failure!

Individual brilliance

a Sachin Tendulkar

a Sania Mirza

1 Ramanujan

a Hrithik Roshan

and a Kangana Ranaut

there’s  Kabali

and there’s Tithi

a common heritage

a grouse, a grudge

a cause for pride

a cause for anger

a faith too many

a language as many

progress, yes

wisdom no!

individual brilliance, aplenty

collective failure, every single time!!!

yet  hope flickers in Bezwada Wilson

in T M Krishna

in APJs of tomorrow.

 

 

 

tea and small talk

between the slurps and the sips

there were large slices of  emptiness

like solitude in a crowded room

when tea slipped

dropping down the edge of her mouth

staining her newly bought sari

white with red polka dots

he reached out to wipe it off

his hand materializing  a hanky from nowhere

an  hour later ,he stood up to go

clutching his suit case

peering at his smart phone

& she not that smart, turned to her medicine pouch.

 

 

 

 

Loving Self

You look perplexed

at this sudden silence

at this total blank out.

I understand.

Perhaps you never noticed

the silence that blotted our living

the smile that strained the lips

we growing apart,staying together

of dried up channels of emotions

then exchanges,finally glances

of how we formed our own niche

of small un intrusive worlds -mine -yours

I got used to the silence

the peace and tranquility of non-pretense.

So should you.

Having long left those spaces

of waiting,of wanting,of dreaming

I found a slice of serendipity

of the self and its company

and I am loving it.

 

 

 

The mirror smiled oblivion

Scratching the sheen off her conscience

withered and sturdy with time

she peered for cracks

for little peep holes of emotions

of hurts, of this should not be me’s

of tiny rivulets of hidden shames

of bulging bellies

of sagging you know whats

not yet a home

no steady income

over the hill

down in the deep

losing steadily

a no-brainer all through

finding none, not a single one

she turned her attention to

the poker marked face

the marks,the deep pits,the freckles,the wrinkles

the mask was cracking?!!!

ha! she, the other jumped in joy

there it’s traces of  hurt, the pinch, the twitch

& the mirror simply smiled oblivion.

 

 

 

Would you rather?

Would you rather live than die every living day

would you rather smile and get rid off a curse

than hold it close and be cursed yourself

would you rather stay lonely in company

than seek the one you need to seek

would you rather strain and stretch

than be safe,sound and staid

would you rather grow old

having done nothing but your duty

than have memories to look back and yearn

would you rather hold a grudge

and smudge your smile

than let go and

be free?

 

 

Be Influential

Who does not want to influence others?   Who does not worry about how others perceive you? What influence do we bear in others lives? How important are we to them? While we are thinking about where we stand in others lives we cannot ignore the fact that we are also constantly influenced by various factors that surround us.The food we choose to eat, the places we visit, the mobiles we carry, the dress we wear or choose not to wear, the way we conduct ourselves are all reflections of the numerous incidents or individuals that have influenced us. No body , not even the so-called “rebels “who vouch for their independent views,  iconoclastic, earth-shattering ideas can claim to be original in the truest sense. The truth of the fact being all that has to be said has already been said. That said, there are certain ways in which we can consciously work on influencing others.

Robert Cialdini , the professor of marketing and psychology at Arizona University studied the patterns of influence and is often regarded as the father of influence .His books Influence: Science and Practice, Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion, Yes!:50 Scientifically Proven Ways to Be Persuasive,The Small BIG: Small changes that spark big influence  provide valuable inputs on negotiation, compliance and persuasion.

The  writer shares interesting anecdotes in his book. One such is the story of a woman who sells stones. The lady who owns a small jewel stone outlet was going for a day off. So she scribbled a note to her assistant asking him to halve the price of the blue Topaz stones in the store as  these stones were not in demand at all.The day after when the lady came back to her store,she was surprised to notice that all the Topaz stones were sold in record time.The assistant had doubled the price of the topaz stones and buyers had lapped them up! This incident prompted the lady to get in touch with Cialdini to understand how this miracle happened.

The higher price attributed higher value to the stones which caused an increase in demand and eventually led to the sell out.

There are 6 principles of influence that Cialdini talks about. 1.Reciprocity: What you give is what you get. Thought schools across the world stress the need to give in order to earn.  It is the principle that draws you to that vegetable vendor who throws in a bunch of  free green chilly and coriander for you. It is the principle that makes you want to return the favour to those who stood for you.It is the same principle which works when you return a smile for a smile and a slap for a slap, well, let’s stay away from violence.

2.Commitment and Consensus: We are wired to keep up our commitments. In general, we as individuals are keen to protect our image and our public standing and prefer to stick to our commitments  rather than dishonoring them. By the same scale, we respect and value those who are committed to a cause in business, in relationships, in sports or in any other field.Think of the numerous face book posts on loyalty,commitment, standing up for one another that gets the maximum likes and shares and we realize its a valuable behaviour for most among us.

Our opinion is almost always influenced by others thoughts, ideas and suggestions. Take for instance, how much we depend on reviews before deciding to buy a product or watch a film. We are in general wired to follow what others follow. It is normal for us to ask a few friends and family before deciding on a product or an event. In fact, the whole purpose of advertisements is to make the customers believe that they are missing out on something that the majority have and enjoy.

3.Scarcity-What is scarce is what is valuable.

Buy land,they are not making it any more,said Mark Twain long before land prices began to sky rocket. But its true that we forever value what we have not. Whether its life, love, home or other possessions the grass for most of us is greener on the other side.  Think of how much we yearn for those who are not around while we are almost fed up with those who surround us. When the shopping malls declare year end sales at 50% discount for a limited period, you know why the public rushes to the venue. In his poem To a Skylark, Shelley,the famous poet said, We look before and after and pine for what is not.

4. Authority -We look up to who we think know it all

In medical emergencies, none of us would think of disputing the doctor’s opinion. We agree that the doctor knows more about the situation than we as lay men do. In the advertisements have you noticed the actors donning the doctor’s coat to create an impression of authority. We tend to look up to those who we think are in control. The wearing of a coat or a blazer adds levels of authority to your persona. Try thinking of why you feel obliged to a request by a person wearing an over coat or a uniform in comparison to another in plain clothes.

In continuation to this, you can build on to your authority in your office space or in your personal life with credible work, thorough knowledge and an impeccable carriage. You could try writing and presenting ideas to a larger group to establish your command in a subject. Many entrepreneurs, business men, writers  are getting their interviews recorded and their experiences written about so that they can add on to their aura of  authority in a given field.Written matter  like the recommendations on your Linkedin carry a lot of weight.

5. Liking – We love those whom we like

Yes,ask your little one about his favorite teacher, its likely that you too will fall for her. Good looks, presentation, grooming, pleasant manners are all important aspects of making yourself more likable. There is of course, no need to stoop beneath your dignity to please any one but working consciously on how you are perceived can help you grow in your career and your personal life. Think of the amount of thought, time and effort that goes into the image building exercises of public figures whether they are politicians, actors or social workers. Personal branding is big these days. Conscious efforts to improve the general perception about you and make yourself more likable can pay you rich dividends.

6. Social Proof – We go where the world goes

Before deciding to watch a movie, we usually would look up the review ratings of the same. The social proof of  published ratings further establish the value of a product in our eyes. Even though we may be worried about the authenticity of the review(most of the reviews are paid ones), we are likely to go with it. All marketing campaigns are designed to invoke the ire of jealousy in you like the classic Onida ad- Neighbour’s envy, owner’s pride!

The principles of influence are an interesting concept. An awareness of these 6 principles of Influence can definitely help us better our lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flower Song

I fell in love

with a butterfly

a fluttering butterfly

I lost my head

I lost my heart

I lost my soul

to the wings

of my fluttering

butterfly

and when he flew

from flower to flower

in the garden

where I stay

(and sometimes outside too)

it broke my heart

it broke my dream

it hurt my soul

yet I smiled

every single time

for I fell in love

with a butterfly

a fluttering butterfly

 

 

He & I

We stood there he & I

listening to the silence that fell around us

the hush of the leaves,the stillness of the night and the heaviness of the breeze

the bright moon disappeared behind a cloud

there were no hopes

no shared dreams

just two different goals.

We wondered at the similarities

of our differences.

We held no grief

no penance

just the penury of the soul

the joy and other assorted items.

 

 

Uber Poor?!!!

 

“I was made to feel a lesser human being, he said”

coz I work harder

ask  questions

own just enough to survive.

Every commercial mocks my choices

Every mall crucifies me for the brush I use

Every friend teases the pattern of my collar

Every relative ridicules my poor girl.

But then I say

I have a place to sleep

food to eat

a loving heart to dwell

a wife to watch

a son to hold

a book to read.

I live in joy

beyond the shopping bags,the jazzy cars,neon lights, techno toys.

I live in love

beyond the emoticons,the likes, the clicks, the selfies

I live in peace

away from photo ops and  the diarrhea  of uploads

I smile even with no camera around.

Trust me I even manage to give!