You are a man in a woman’s body, said Bhaskar suddenly, when we were in the middle of a discussion. Bhaskar is the quietest of the group and has the habit of rubbing his eyes. This gives the impression that he is crying or is about to cry.Since he was quiet for the longest time, he was definitely the object of everyone’s curiosity. The group looked at him with almost a voyeuristic interest. He then adds a rejoinder and I am a man in a woman’s body. Spoken causally but with the weight of truth that stunned everyone into silence.In my head, though,I am busy seeing my self as the boy!. Oh boy! there I am in a Duster( that’s my current dream car),hanging out with drink buddies,puffing cigars,racing bikes, being served and pampered and doing the so-called guy stuff. It does look interesting! Why should boys have all the fun?!!! Seriously!!!
Gender stereotypes often scuttle the range of abilities of a individual.For instance, I had never known of the ambitious,assertive, jealous,pushy part of me while I dutifully donned the role of the good daughter,mother,sister, wife etc. When circumstances edged me on, I plunged on to transform from a demure,unsure,should I do this, can I ever to some one who said I can. That I had no other option helped but looking back I see this change in who I am and can’t but be shocked. Where did I hide these shades of the darkest grey in me? What was the cloak of being good that I veiled myself in? What did I achieve doing that? Did I learn and grow more when I accepted reality of my self, of others? Yes, I did. Some decisions like refusing to live a lie upped my confidence while scaring some around me. It took some time to get here, in fact a long time, but I am glad I am who I wanted to be. Or that I am trying to get there.
A young girl I knew felt trapped in her body. She knew she was a man. It hurt her to use the girls wash room or to be in the girls team. She was this sprightly kid, whom every body loved. She lived in confusion until she decided to sort things out for herself. Her parents stood by her. She went for gender re-assignment . As the process is on, the young man is open to discuss what he has been through. For me, he stands out as an example of courage and self-acceptance that is extremely rare.
Will Bhaskar ever consider changing his body to be who he is ?Will his parents, family help him and support him?
Be fluid.Be who you are. Be unashamedly, unabashedly yourself. Let the world deal with how it is troubled by you.
If you are a man who has never cooked or done those so-called feminine duties, go stretch yourself. Explore the feminine aspect of your personality. Stop to admire flowers, observe what others are wearing keenly,enjoy spending some time in the kitchen,feel tender for someone…do all that you have not done. It will make you feel good,allowing you to connect with yourself more truly. If you are a woman, who has not done the guy thing, try out something that is not something you do usually. For instance, I am dying to be all alone. Travel alone, watch movies alone, I am told its very liberating and so much more. After all its one life, let’s make it rich with experiences.