“Looking at you,mom”, said my daughter, “I have learned that there is nothing wrong in asking for help”.
My eyes filled with tears as I heard her say these words. It’s has not been long since I got over my shyness to ask, to ask for help, even financial help, to ask for suggestions, to ask for ideas, to ask for directions, to seek friendships, to seek company…yes, I have learnt to ask the hard way and I don’t regret it one bit.
This year has been one of the most trying and testing times of my life, not getting paid for work done for a long period was seriously damaging my nerves, my confidence, my equilibrium and every thing else.
I thought of talking to my friends but haven’t I been a crib box for too long now, I wondered.
I sat up during the night almost every day trying to figure out what to sell, whom to approach, should I ask my father again, haven’t I done that enough?
I looked around at the few steel utensils and regretted that they will fetch nothing in the market. I laughed at own ingenuity.
Luckily whatever gold ornaments, my parents had given me were kept safely away from me!
I was almost becoming neurotic when I decided to do what is best to be done. To focus my energies on writing, on training, on meeting people, on doing anything that kept me sane away from prying worries.
The efforts bore fruit when an article I wrote got published in ‘The Better India’
I knew the universe was looking out for me. Having come this far I said, what fear.The plan B of winding up everything and landing at my parents doorstep was a viable option.
There would be someone out there who would help me get through this, I waited for opportunities with my fingers crossed.
In the meanwhile I was also applying left,right and centre to any job, any part of the world.
Then I decided to check with my former employers and contacted one of them. They said, yes of course, we want you back, I was relieved but not fully because the interim period needed me to fulfill my financial commitments.
I approached 2 of my relatives after a serious session of ‘inky pinky ponkey, father had a donkey’ stuff and put the matter in front of them. “I will help you out, I know what you have been through”, said one “Could I transfer double of what you had asked for?I guess you need it.” asked another young fellow as if reading my mind.
I couldn’t have been more blessed to have people who respond positively to a request. I remembered how I had opened up my purse for a friend of mine, was I the receiver of the benefits of good karma or was it mere providence? I wouldn’t know.
Needless to say, when I joined the new work place and received my first salary, my burden had eased considerably. I was in a happier space. Most importantly, I felt blessed.
My father said, ” You should not have asked others”, I didn’t reply. I knew I had done the right thing.
I am not ashamed of asking for help,yes, even financial help. And I would not be bitter if refused help. Again, it is definitely not a pattern.
A friend of mine said, ” You should have told me. I keep aside money every month for my lord Shiva. I would have happily given it to you.”
Are there difficulties in life? Yes. But are there joys, Yes, many more than the sorrows or the disappointments,shining brightly in comparison to the harshness that life offers.
It’s mixed plate, life, that is. True riches in life are experiences that prove your faith in yourself and those around you.
When in difficulty, trust the universe and reach out. There’s definitely a hand or two out there ready to hold you.
So go on, trust yourself , forge ahead, dream your life and watch the universe fulfill your wishes.