Compar-abilities! Compassion in words

“I went to take the blessings of my father on my birthday. He said, How old are you da? 25, I said. What?! that Sharmaji’s son is 26, said my father,” joked Vikas Sangam,of the famous Punchtantra, in his hilarious toastmasters speech.

Some samples of ‘comparomaniacs showcasing their compar-abilities’:

Mother and daughter walking to  the market work or any other place, random aunty: “Mother and daughter, oh, like sisters only. Why such a dark mother got a fair daughter? What you ate during your pregnancy, tell me, no, I want to tell my daughter too. She is not fair, she is dark just like you! ”

Mother to son” Who will give you their girl da? You are soooo dark. Good that you are not a girl. Thank god.”

Anonymous onties and ankles” What! You are not taking care of your daughter properly? Why she is becoming dark like this? Use kumkumadi thailam, I used it in my younger days. Works like magic.”

“Appa, why this girl is soo fat, at this age? How will you get her married off? Do something no! So much technology nowadays. My cousin is an expert in this field. Take this number and try some thing will work, don’t worry”.

“Kala come here, stand next to Lata, see who is taller? What is your mother giving you Kala, you have grown tall. Don’t grow too tall ok, you will not get a boy for yourself”.

“Such a tall boy pa, you are, who will marry you, Mr.Ladder? No body will give you their girl!”

” Why, your sister has such thick hair, so long too and black? Why is yours so less? I can almost see your scalp. Difficult ok, people will make fun of you!”

“Did you hear that Sarala bought a flat, so young, so smart she is? That is how intelligent people are. You are well into your thirties and no flat! I feel so bad when people ask me about your situation. What do I tell them?”

“You should be really smart, seeing you makes me worry about doing higher studies, you have struggled so much right”

“My aunt’s sister’s child has just given birth to a boy. Now you have been married for 10 years and no child! It’s so embarrassing. I can’t face my relatives. (This despite whatever the couple are doing to get the child at well timed intervals.) I will die without seeing a grand child!”

“Studying at this age! oh! my god! I am too busy in my life and too happy to struggle like you do, anyways, good luck”.

To a well-to-do friend said another” You are really smart. Managing so much. So brave. But in your school time and all, you were never so good, no! So shy you were, I still remember.”

A mom-in-law determined to destroy her daughter-in-law’s love life, went on a rather extreme rant, “How your breasts look! Like an old woman’s. I don’t know why my son married you! I was never like this in my youth!”

“In my entire khandaan, no girl ever gave birth to a girl. All of us have given birth to boys!”, quipped a proud daughter-in-law.

” You are tall but see how I actually look taller than you! It is always like that, right from my childhood”, mother/mother-in-law to bahu/daughter.

“Always studying, this boy does not have a life”.

“Never seen this guy with a book ever, what will he ever do in life”.

“Nowadays even you look fairer than me,” said a desperate mother  worried about her aging skin to a daughter.

“Your baby is soo dark, is it because of your husband?”

“Oh! you finally wrote a book???!!!! I really wish you had started real early, you may have become famous by now!”

“You are so brave, single and all, I am rather delicate by nature, I just need my husband’s care and his (purse)….. I am brought up like this only, with so much love.”

“You know, if you are surrounded by people who will do anything for you, you become a little simple and timid, that’s why I never became strong like you, never got a chance.”

“All my dresses like this, only between Rs.20,000 to Rs.25,000, my family will not allow me to wear anything cheap!”

“You don’t have emotions only. Really, I have never seen you emotional, it is not good, ok. Don’t try too much to be strong!”.

“Ayyo, pimples, so many, look!!! Why da, in our family, no one ever got a pimple in their life. What do you guys eat? Just eat healthy, ok!”

The list is endless and one can just go on and on. If only we learnt to be a little more sensitive and kept our mouths shut a little more, the world would be a better place for all.

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