” It’s a fitment issue”, she said with a dismissive wave of her hand, commenting on the inadequacy of ‘me’ to fit the bill at the corporate work place.
A few years ago, one of the premium public schools in Bangalore remarked in not so subtle words, “You dress too simply. That is not how our management likes it here.” At that time, I was more than happy to face the rejection.
Pretending to be who I am not, can happen perhaps on a day or two, may be on the annual exhibition day! but to do that every day, was way beyond my call.
When this time my parents came, Achan advised sagely, as he always does, ‘Prepare for the NET, Lekha’, and I was livid.
My parents’ notions of the perceived inadequacies with respect to happiness in my life must have prompted them to get me to follow the rule book one more time, but you see, I am done with it, for good!
It’s a small life and I rather live it contently than be consumed by inadequacies.
But have you been reminded of your inadequacies some time recently? Has there been a particular DP of your friend which made you feel a little ‘less’ in terms of appearance, attire or confidence?
Has the FB recently flooded you with images of far off vacations by your friends, foes and family and those in-betweens that kind of rankled you, reminding you, how you are just slogging away at work when others are having a whale of a time?
Did the Linkedin not remind you of the major landmarks in the careers of the who’s who of the world and how you are somehow missing out all the fun because you haven’t paid heed to ‘Lynda’s’ special recommendations for the courses that will take you to the next level?
The entire cosmetic industry is in the business of rubbing it into you that you are some how inadequate in looks, grooming, or genes which is ‘naturally’ hindering your prospects at work and love.
The ad in which the young visitor shouts to his mother,’mummy, aunty ka toilet gandha hai’ is probably teaching you how without ‘Harpic’ your toilets are somehow inadequate!
To the uncle who is asking about your height and weight and advising you to eat better like his children do, just advice him to mind his own business.
To the lady who advises you to use ‘the sun screen’ because you are of marriageable age, telling you that a darker skin is some how an inadequacy that stands in the way of your happy family life, you might want to tell that ‘it’s way better than having to pop, vitamin D tablets.’
To those who ask you to take their suggestion before you decide to breathe , have a snack or change your style, tell them,sorry, no thanks, I don’t think you know enough. Anyways, Google is cheaper and less judgmental.
But if you don’t have a house, a car, a husband, a wife, a child, a trip abroad, a friend, a life , a faith, a cure,a job, a mentor, the experience, the intelligence, the wherewithal and the list is endless, the world is ready to pounce on you, forgetting that each person is happy in his or her own space. It is possible to be happy even if one is inadequate in any which way.
Now with the results out, most of the students will have to bear a life time of comparison of how the other boy or girl did better in far worse circumstances. But you should on your part, cut your self out from such uninvited and unwanted wisdom and focus on what you are going to do next. Remember the result will also fade into insignificance with time.
Human existence is somehow woven around fanning inadequacies and filling them out for the sake of profit. There is no way to escape this except of course, being clear in your own mind that ‘ok, this person wants some attention, or wants to sell something to me, or has a grouse, let me just listen to him and do just as I please’, if you did this perhaps you will be more intact even as you deal with the many peddlers of inadequacies.