There is nothing that can kill the natural abilities of a person than comparing him to someone and saying, he’s not as good as his father, mother, aunt, uncle, friend, whatever. Yet we do it every time to our kids. We just pit one child to another till such a time that the two become enemies and both of them end up losing whatever self confidence they have.
Here’s how a grandma manages to keep her grandchildren at war with each other.
To A: ‘B is so good. She is sooo respectful. She loves me soo much. She scored 10/10 so many times’..blah..blah..blah
To B: ‘A is the best, I can’t tell you. She has got all the genes from my side of the family. She is just like me in my younger days. She is sooo good looking, she is such an obedient kid. I am sure A will never misbehave like you. How can you even be like this?’
Well, that is the death knell for whatever sibling love the two girls might ever have for each other.
If you thought this pill to kill only worked at home, no, not at all.
At school suppose, the girl or boy has a father or mother, or an elder or younger sibling or a grand dad who was smarter, it starts all over again.
Teachers to A: ‘B used to be soo good at maths. How come you are so weak?’
‘But your mom is so smart, how come you are not?’
‘Your aunt is soo fair, how come you are not?’
‘But your father is Sachin Tendulkar, no less, how come you are not so talented at 16?’
Gosh, I pity all those juniors, especially those who have more acclaimed parents.The pressure of being a junior Tendulkar, a junior Sridevi, a junior Beckham, a junior Jackson, even a junior Gandhi or Bachan is killing I am sure.
And surely not everyone gets time and chances to grow up and make it big like the Jr.Gandhi does, no way!
And it is not like the comparison ends once you are an adult. The mommies are pitted against each other by the family.
‘Hey, your daughter is very smart. She is fair even.’
‘But this girl, she is not that fair, how come, did you give her something different?’
or ‘That guy has bought a flat with such a small income even, what are you doing?’
‘You people have been in the city for so long, still don’t have a flat, how come you never thought of it?’
‘My daughter has two kids, she is well-settled. Yours, not yet started family? Is something wrong?I know a doctor, very good she is.’
Hello! can you stop?
Then grand moms.
‘Your granddaughter is very smart. too smart actually. Mine is not that much. Infact, my daughter is also like that. What to do?’
‘Oh, you were invited to their wedding? Hmm, they invite only big people!’
‘Why are you doing so much work, at your age? Take some rest no!’
‘We are too simple people, my son works a lot, but does not earn enough. What to do?’
I can go on but the point is we forget that each is to his own. It is better to leave people to mind their own business and not poke into their affairs. Comparing yourself with others will only give you grief. Comparing your kids/relatives with others will make them miserable.
So just cut it out. Stop the hurt. Stop the comparison.