I must be fine
she said
if he thought me fine
may be just a little bit un-fine
but mostly fine
after all he said so.
Did you notice that he laughed at my joke?
nodded his head when I spoke?
turned to look at me as I was leaving?
It must be, no, should be because, you see, I am more than just fine.
Did you not see how we stood and how perfect we looked?
Did you not see the smile that graced my face and lit in his eyes?
Did you not hear the excitement with which he cheered when my friend spoke?
It is I am sure because he thinks I am just a little more fine than most people.
He has not said anything, no, not yet
I am sure he is going to some day, some time, just like that and we might just laugh over it.
Yeah, I heard he is leaving, may be he didn’t find me around
You see, I can be quite a trouble sometimes
I am sure he is going to come back and then, well, who knows?
No, I have not spoken yet, I am a bit scared.
I get hurt easily.
What if ?
May be I should just keep waiting, after all, I know for sure he thinks I am quite fine.
(Sigh!)
PS: Fine in love
Adhyapika 
4 responses to “Coz he thought her fine”
The mystery line, for me, is “I can be quite a trouble sometimes.” I’m thinking a clue might be in the preceding line, “I heard he is leaving, may be he didn’t find me around,” suggesting that she has a habit of withdrawing, keeping to herself, not participating in social events. But if that’s not it, perhaps she is saying that her hypersensitivity and continual self-analysis is “quite a trouble” to herself. Anyway, that line got me even more interested in the familiar but important story of how relationships get started and (if they) develop.
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Relationships are complex. How much store one keeps on another s opinion of self is intriguing and interesting. I am always thinking of Robert Browning. About bringing out thoughts to the fore,no body has done better justice. So,I feel.
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The feelings and emotions are beautifully brought out. Very well penned 🙂
Happy new year!
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Thanks Hargun . Happy 2019 to you too
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