Come you may or may not

I am not sure of your reading this or anything else that she writes, wrote or will write at some point of time in future.

I know not if words reach you, her words I mean or make sense to you in any which way.

Friend, lover that never loved, don’t be amused at the pain of a soul so deep in the mire of feelings, overwhelmed by emotions that deluge her very existence that at times take her by surprise, nay shock.

Stupidity, friend, is what I have often called it and have oftener called her out.

I have many a time told her to move on and not hang on words that were never there, promises that never came or those that were not hers, not hers.

I have laughed at her derisively, laughed out loud in her face, and many more times behind her back.

I, yes, I have advised her, consoled her and confronted her, but nothing has worked not now, not till now.

Delusional, she is, ha, perhaps, that is what it is, a magic potion that sustains without supply of raw material, her feelings….stupid, stupid woman

When she rests her shoulder on mine, I kiss her tenderly on her forehead.

I watch the thin, fine lines of worry crease out, slowly and a small smile dimple her cheeks.

I sit with her though even when she insists she is fine, knowing how good she is at hiding her true feelings , I stay back and keep her company.

The speckless sky is now dotted with dark clouds, a heavy downpour is expected anytime.

I keep the towel ready for the showers.

I know I am good enough yet it is you who makes a difference to her life.

It is you who she yearns for so openly, unabashed of ridicule.

With her grey hair and slow prance will she still look to the window to see you?

Will her failing heart, bear the pain of your sudden appearance?

Will she, so gentle in giving be given what she asks for?

I cannot tell.

But, this I know, I will be around for her at a glance away.

Come what may, come you may or not.

Ps: Post Stephen Fry’s impassioned love for words

And he fell, the man

‘He who weeps for me has his tears dried today, this day

He who fills my every pore with love is lost

He whose calls I spring forth to in joyous abundance

is no more, no more ,’The earth murmured,

‘Such days I never hoped to see

without his love, I am nothing.nothing.’, she stopped.

The birds cried in unison, ‘not we dear mother, not us, not us’

‘we dance for your love and your union with your eternal lover

we rejoice in you, holy mother’

the worms slow to move cried,’holy mother, we are far too small, yet you held us close

it is not us, dear mother, we pray for you and for him’.

the animals mingled in their roars, bellows, cries and laughs, said together

‘ha, mother, we have tried our very best, we even learned to be kind to your favorite, the man. We have only loved you still if there be sins we beg forgivance’.

The earth mother wept, ‘It is I who sinned, I who held one so cruel, so close to me, I opened up every reserve, every treasure for his plundering, and see what it has done to me, to us, to him, though he does not know yet, not yet’.

Sitting in circles one away from the next the life on the planet, prayed to their only god, gaia and cried

‘Curse be on the man’

‘For he has killed our mother’

‘Distanced the heavenly lover from her, our mother goddess, our only provider and nurturer’

‘This shall not be forgiven, never, never, others echoed!’

The trees were silent, so were the grass, they knew only kindness even in anger.

But he fell, the man!

Exhume, release, move on

It was that time of the year

when the heart is quiet and sure

focused on digging up past lives

reliving memories

but it was somehow different

this time unlike many other times

maybe it is marking a decade

and therefore it is willing to overlook

mostly though there was deep love replacing deep anger

loosening of many knots, filling heart with the warmth of love

the slow fire of yearning and a great realization of changing

it was easy to forgive, forego and forget

making space for what is new, what is loving, what is embracing

keep the songs coming

keep the joys brewing

for the summer is here again

the warmth is a-calling

the dreams are a-beckoning

feel the change

relive the joy

the smiles are a-lasting

love is at the door!

live and let live!