All beings tend towards being happy. I believe that human beings in general tend towards a state of happiness, inspite of what others perceive to be a state of lacking or incompleteness.
In the times when my younger brother was in a state of severe pain, he still loved listening to music and was often smiling and joking while most around him pitied him for being tied to the wheel chair.
It amused me to notice how skeptical the listeners were to Adi when she happily shared her hunt for a partner at a young 50. We laughed a little constrained in our thoughts as to how could it be for her to be all alone, but Adi had no trace of sorrow or even annoyance in her countenance. She winked to add, ‘ better late than never, what say!’ and just stuck her tongue out, as if mocking us.
Manoj is a very competent computer engineer who is suffering from muscular degeneration. There is not a time when Manoj is not smiling, even when he is pushing himself up to a chair with great difficulty. In fact, if you happen to catch his eyes, he might just make a face and ask for a hand to help, that is all to it.
I mean whatever our current state of affairs be, our emotional status is a matter of willful making.
We people tend to blame external factors for our lack of freedom may be, forgetting how a walking out, a speaking up can change things for the better.
My mom loves dad to the moon and back, it is her constant almost joyful crib as to how he will have food only if she serves it! I mean, she pretends to be annoyed but takes great pride in the fact that dad sort of needs her.
Inviting me to a christmas prayer, my friend insisted on how it will add to my happiness, but. I am already happy’. I exclaimed and she did not seem to be very happy about it.
Now it is for each of us to see what takes away from our sense of joy in being, whether it is people, work, situations, what ever it is , it is well within our rights to change it for the better, may be not alter it altogether.
My best friend was annoyed that at her home, her in-laws have still not gotten over taking care of their daughter. ‘What can I do, it irritates me that I earn, I support and they give in to the waywardness of their daughter, who is married, employed and more than capable of taking care of herself!’ A few weeks later, my friend came back to share how she and her husband have devised ways to take time off and go on holidays. ‘Just the three of us’, she said happily.
A little fellow blessed with a great sense of maturity is weak in his legs, his ambition is to play basket ball and other physically challenging games. He is obviously not able to keep pace with others and often takes out his anger by writing on the board in his room, ‘I am useless. Why do I have such legs?’ etc. But his mother is so sorted out that she says, ‘he will figure out himself. He is a smart guy and most importantly he has a bunch of loving friends. May be he can do excellent commentary while they play’.
For some reason the celebrities have made depression sound like a fashion, so much so that every young person I am talking to is proudly sharing his/her fight with depression. I fear that this could just be an excuse for doctors, some of the unscrupulous among them to push some dangerous chemicals as medicines.
Well, all I am saying is you and I can actually take care of our happiness. We just need to give ourselves time and some love.
It is ok not to have the career of your choice, the man of your dreams, the house or the salary of your best enemy/rival, you still hold the key to your happiness, just keep doing one thing that you enjoy and it will fetch you joys limitless!
2 responses to “A Predisposition to Happiness”
I needed this. Very encourging. I like your use of personal stories. It makes the main idea so much more real and memorable. I can feel something ( sympathy perhaps, or at least warmth) and it makes me think again about my own circumstances. Though I have generally been at peace these days, I am a little happier now, having read your note, Adhy . . . I mean Sreelekha. (Hope you don’t mind my nickname. We often use the “y” sound at the end of shortened names, which themselves are sometimes descriptive or job related. Maybe you’ll do a blog entry sometime about that issue in your culture?)
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thanks Albert. Adhy is cool, it means first as in adhya in sanskit. in proper malayalam though, adhy is anxiety! I like it nevertheless