Inside out

What holds place

what sustains love

what nourishes hope

what powers dreams

what soldiers smiles

the spirit in you

around you

holds you through

so smile,reach out, hug and be hugged

it’s one life after all.

PS: Help a dream come true

Pain and overcoming

The young man stood lost in deep sorrow. ‘I don’t know what to do. Everything happened so quickly she did not give us time. ‘His eyes forlorn, he talked about the sudden demise of his beloved mother.

‘My dad is heart broken. He is feeling very low.My relatives have been insisting on my marriage and I have almost committed. I was in a daze. What do I do?’

Caught between extremes of emotions the most demanding of situations, the loss of a beloved one and the trepidation of a new start, he stood confused.

‘Who can I talk to? Who would understand me. Have not slept for the last few days. It is tough’.

What does one do in times of such pain?

I remembered how having just returned from my brother’s funeral I wrote the lesson I was teaching on the board which said, The Dear Departed! I was stunned at the irony but put up a brave face and continued with the class.

The dice of fortune

throws up

challenges a plenty

sometimes in company

sometimes lonely in companionship

many times just plain single

you just learn to deal with it and move on

perhaps think of a stray dog somewhere

who would have none to care

or a bird cut short before its flight

the very first one

sigh and know

it’s life

the way it is!

When all the world's a stage, why skip acting?

For days now a single thought has possessed me, stage a play.

I called my students during the semester end vacations, but alas, they were not available, except for a single persistent supporter who said, ‘mam, we can do it’. But do we have not done, not yet.

I moved into a new flat and have been seeing a bunch of enthusiastic kids. I am waiting for a chance to approach the parents and say, ‘Hey, I have a script ready, ( in fact I have 3 already!) I can train your kids to do theatre. Could you help me get started?’

Hmmm….So I am on a mission to befriend the moms in the apartment who perhaps think of me as the odd lady who lives with a bunch of cats!

A few years ago I was smitten by story telling and did not lose an opportunity to do it. I even got invited to a few events to tell stories and had a blast doing it.

So, there I am on an odd Monday, conspiring theatre tricks.

PS: Coz stage fits well, and stories are never too old

art heals and holds

After organizing a successful event, I was tired, restless and oddly low, very low. I could not concentrate at work or bring myself to look at the computer. I got up and walked to the library came back with books hoping it to help. I tried engaging in conversations, ‘Talk to me’, I said, ‘let’s discuss something’, I urged my young colleague.

I tried vainly to cheer myself up until another colleague and young friend started talking excitedly about the possibilities of a well managed Dance club at the college. Still, restless, I was about to get up when Ras came and said, ‘You have 3 days of holidays, and what are you doing?’. ‘Nothing’, I replied, and she said,’you look so low, what happened, are you fine?’ .’I am, well not feeling great!’, agreed I without any hesitation and she said, ‘how about coming out with me to watch a performance?’ I agreed instantly, thankful for the opportunity. ‘But you don’t back out, ok’ , she warned and I smiled reassuringly.

The next day, I stepped out maybe after many years feeling a little odd, while going about it but definitely excited and worried if I was going to be late.

I managed to reach the venue on time, ‘Shoonya, Centre for Arts & Somatic Practices’ and saw a very young crowd and started to feel low again, ‘I don’t think I fit here’, a thought rushed into my mind which was banished when Ras embraced me warmly,’come, come,’ she introduced me to the new friends she had made.

The performance started soon. There were not more than 30 people in the hall. A small intimate space, and I watched how the audience was almost reverential in their approach. I had no clue what to expect but the sight of a young performer’Joshua Silo’ sitting still in the dim light in the centre of the stage space got me more than interested.

As the music intensified, Joshua spoke with his muscles, his bare body communicating a range of emotions, Factor Y , strangely making sense as the performer drew the audience into his space, in a very involved,energetic, intimate manner. Not a breath was heard, no hustle, a muffled cough rose but did not distract anyone, the captivated audience looked on, as if watching the mythical Icarus take his flight and perhaps succeed even against the burning sun!

The performance aroused empathy, stirring deep emotions, thoughts and niggling deep set fears and insecurities and celebrating success, the performer played with the audience, ‘come on , cheer’, he said and then lapsed into ‘a state of subconscious monologue’.

The next performance was by a trained dancer, communicating with perfectly chiseled countenance decorated with large beautiful eloquent eyes was titled ‘Phurr’. Supplementing the range of emotions on her face with an athletic and trained dancer’s physique she connected to the audience at different levels. At some point, I did feel, the script can still be tightened further but the dancer, the performer, Riya Mandal blew my mind away with her intensity. Stepping in and out of her character with ease, she teased the audience with provocative questions.

I turned to thank Ras for her kindness and vowed to be part of as many events at ‘Shoonya’ as possible. ‘I come here’ said, Ras and I forget everything, it keeps me charged for a long time’. I definitely got that.We dined at Koshy’s and returned home, with memories of a well spent evening.

A time for love

Too much censure

have I had

Too much in hiding

have I been

Too much have I ignored self

Too much I feared

held back austere

said she

now is my time

to blossom

in love

so turn

skyward

to fragrances of tenderness

kind words, sweet notes

a heart of love

awaits

another

the universe smiled quizzically

some never give up, do they???!!!

A cat mom Writes

Its been a month since I brought my three little ones to this world.They have been the best thing that happened to me.

My life which seemed like chasing a vagrant tail found its meaning.

Ever since I have been single minded in my devotion to nurture them to become the best in the cat zone.

Well! don’t ask me more about ask me about the vagrant tail, its been ages since I moved on and for good!

But the difficulty has been sharing my life and my space with this other woman, the hoooman, no the sheeman, she’s a feminist, I better be careful!

This woman and me have been in a live-in relationship for the past 2 years. Something about her, more than just the food packet she showed off endeared herself to me and I just walked in to her home, demanding her care and my comfort.

She has been accommodating, I must say, gets the food packet on time. Has so far ensured that I have my food on time and also provides me scratching services for free! That’s a bonus.

There are a few other perks for her which I care not to mention here.

Well, I trained her well, in fact very well, indeed!

To open the door at my command.

To fetch me water at my glance.

To snuggle and cuddle me on my meow and many more.

In fact during my delivery she was the nanny on duty, she did well!

now this hooman, no sheeman has shifted her house, depriving me of the spacious terrace she had.

I now have to adjust with balcony, no complaints since the sun is good and my kids are healthy.

My problem is the food in interstices, those in between times.

Inspite of my commands, even implorings she can still be stone hearted at times.

What do I do then?

Gotta feed my kiddos

They runaway with my nipples otherwise, three of them, imagine!

so well, I scavenge in the kitchen get them a plastic bag, some times it has some food in it, otherwise it doesn’t , who’s lucky every time, anyways?

so it goes on my life with the other sheeman!

Last night we had visitors, never seen anyone ringing the calling bell for her, but you see, they had come to see me and my kiddos…. two specimens

they came, they hugged, they snuggled and they left!

good for me!

You might have in your life seen many like me, but I am different, I really am.

I can see through hoomans and sheemans.

I can predict when sheemans get up as to where they are headed to.

But most importantly, I am the best mom ever, ask my kiddos.

Life is good, hope yours is too, in spite of her the Sheeeman!

PS: Just kitty

What the sky spoke

Stop a bit I said

shed a tear

breathe a breeze

come sit down

I implored

the sky

being busy

said sorry love

my tears are precious

burning lands need them

my breeze is for the kids

with dreams and hair flying wild

my time is for you though

all of it

she smiled

as I blushed

winking and moving ahead

she said

their skies are yours too

their waters

their love, hatred and lust

is a part of you too

you are one

here, there, everywhere

like myself

and I was aghast!

REst in Peace/pieces

where have you been

I asked rest in peace

she said

I left you with noise

so you could know

sound and silence best

but did you I asked skeptically

devise a plan dubious

to unsettle me

who am I

she laughed

peace or pieces is your choice

isn’t it really?

the cat meowed

the kittens clawed at the door

Steady said the universe

planting a kiss on my forehead

I hugged her tight.

Who knew

Its Jan 2020

gosh, who knew

you would see this day

enough happened

to break the spirit

to wrench the essence of living

hit and hurt

yet the universe

held her through

a hand always appeared

a smile always greeted

even in the most deserted of times

the goats they say are sturdy

long lasting and masters at climbing

so be it

the goat shall triumph

2020

just be by the side

together do the best

bring a smile

hold a hand

hug a heart

small is powerful, so be it.

Tathastu!