Souls pass on

this being the rule of the universe

mostly you nod,forget and move on

yet some tug at your heart

wet your eyes

leave a scar

and an ache inexplicable

such was his

Irfan Khan

soulful his eyes

mellow his form ferocious

in a noisy world

he made subtlety his charm

when he stood they cried

there goes an actor unparalleled

some said simply ‘pure soul’

that was it!

Irrfan Khan returns to India after treatment | Bollywood – Gulf News

Home bound and happy

Been home bound for quite some time now and have I been unhappy, not the least!

It has been so quietening to be at home. Not to have to get up and bother of what to wear, of putting up a smile too big or too small, of not having to answer those inquisitive questions have been a blessing. I am beginning to think that contrary to what I thought I was, that is being an out going and people person,perhaps I am not.

That was a self-revelation!

So I have been listening to a friend who has been talking about the numerous parties he threw, how he regaled audiences and how much he is the very life of it all and I thought to myself, why don’t I feel envious, I don’t, I really don’t . In fact. I was quite happy to think that I don’t have to put up these shows!

I didn’t tell that to the poor boy! to him I expressed my deepest appreciation and said, ‘oh! what a life, man!’.

What is with this love to be at one’s own place, to mostly lie down, read, write, dream, act as if i am thinking and then doze off again!

As the lock down begins to wind up, I am going to miss this absolute stillness, of not having to venture out, of not having to speak too much, but just be here at home and be lost in dreams and fantasies!

I realized why I always wanted to go home soon after a function or an event, for which I might have had to deck up a bit so as to get back to normalcy as quickly as possible.

I understood why I never went to large gatherings, big weddings, huge functions, concerts etc, I never wanted to or rather I am not comfortable in those spaces.

Interestingly I was almost getting into self-pity thinking, oh, poor me, have never known the fun of living,what a waste my life has been, nothing to boast about and on top of all that think of my poor poor hobbies to read, to write, to teach, what utter nonsense!

But I soon realized that my kind of fun is a little different may be, maybe not.

So now I know why I won’t rush to a party, why I would shy off from being photographed , would rather not doll up if possible or won’t jump on to stage if possible, why I am ok being in the background.

So, it is not that there are no opportunities it is just that I chose to stay away.

It is just that I like to be in good company, smaller, cozier than random strangers jumping up and down together.

I would rather meet my old friends than go to any fancy restaurant and show off!

I would most preferably chill with my daughter than any big shot ever.

Also, strangely I never ever had a film personality I looked up to. I mean I never felt fascinated enough to put a poster of one ever.

Hmm..except maybe Leander Paes, only he is one of India’s most valuable Tennis player.

Perhaps the only crush I ever had except for Gabriela Sabatini and a bit of Goran Ivanisevic and a little of John Mcnroe’s craziness. Ok, maybe Martina Navratilova too, to some extent.

And that makes me feel some how cooler!

Ps: introspection

If I could Say

The azure sky

boasts of a new shade

the breeze carrying

heavenly scents

makes imminent a message

long overdue

a few dark clouds

shall fade to insignificance

a few bawling winds

will soon quieten

now at this point

when the world breathes heavy

just hurry

hurry on

gather around in love

in strange camaraderie

make visible a new horizon

catch it

hold it

save it for ever!


Songs For a lifetime

Of all the gifts that are natural,I would say it’s the ability to sing that takes the cake. The magic of a good voice can never stop to surprise me.

Often, at the university, even a lethargic and sleepy audience is immediately tapping its feet enthusiastically to a song well rendered.

Even among the songs that continue to impact for a life time, there are songs that reach your soul and stay there as a refreshing memory, like the ‘host of golden daffodils ‘ to Wordsworth, friend, philosopher and guide to many.

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.. goes the concluding stanza of Wordsworth’s famous poem’I wandered lonely as a cloud’.

This is how great songs are which like those secret treasures of beloved memories never fail to lift the mood of any individual even in the most testing of times.

To that category should I then add a few of these malayalam songs which evoke pure bliss.

Aalayal Thara Venam

With its folklor-ish touch penned by the famous poet Kavalam Nararyana Panicker, the song is nothing short of heavenly.

Kaantha is an eloquent expression of a woman’s desire to be a part of the man’s world, to witness the grandeur of Thrissur Pooram, the best of temple festivals in Kerala and just be part of the general fun.

One of my all time favorite songs has to be this. Addressed to the dusk, called Sandhya in Malayamal, this song seems to grow in intensity and beauty with the passage of time. It is from the film Madanaolsavam released in 1978.

Karuthathonikkara from the film Aksharangal in 1984 is also strangely evocative.

Nadha nee varum kalocha kettu njan is a beautiful rendition by the ever green S.Janaki of a lady love who awaits her lover.

With its inimitable poetry, this song starting Chakravarthinee…is a true classic.

Onnini Sruthi thazthi is a beautiful lullaby by S. Jayachandran melodious, poetic and what not!

A beautiful lullaby!

Chembarathi Poove is that song that played relentlessly on the radio in the 80’s. Featuring the effervescent Nadia Moidu the song looks appealing to the eyes and ears.

What words can describe the beauty of Parvathi’s eyes. This song perfectly captures her beauty in the back drop of Sri Vadukkunatha Temple in Trichur, Kerala.

Enthinu veroru sooryodayam is a beautifully pictured song. Shobana’s beauty stands out and she looks great with Mamootty too. Mostly though the song is pure poetry.

Quarantine times are good times to catch with what is old and forever gold!

Would you mind

Darling would you mind

staying a little longer

this lonely home

stripped of you

holds your memories close

those photographs on the wall

those trinkets we bought together

those little knicks knacks

darling,you took them all

could you not have stayed

or told me while you left

coz coming back to an empty home

killed me nearly it did

for days of weeping copious tears

did not ever cure me

darling wife you chose to leave

me alone, knowing well my need for you

I know I confess

my share of guilt

wish you had shouted

yelled it out

loud and clear

perhaps my dumb head would have got it

years later love

it still hurts where you left

slowing my steps

I struggle to find trust

Bless your soul

and heal mine


BEgin Again

Well, I always consciously look out for feel good movies, feel good experiences etc.The thrillers and the psychos are not my kind, well mostly, unless of course the story is compelling.

So there we were catching up on Begin Again starring Mark Ruffalo and Keira Knightley.

Right from the start, the movie gave positive vibes and I was pretty excited about how it was going to turn out. And for sure, it more than met my expectations.

Sweetly yet subtly the movie brought out the niceties of not losing hope and going on in the search of one’s own happiness whether it is in relationships or realizing one’s life goals.

Mark Ruffalo is handsome yet somehow the accessible everyday man you would run into in life and Keira with her toothy smile,lights up the screen with her effervescent presence.

If you have not caught up with this gem, please do so without any further delay. Trust me, you are going to enjoy it every bit.

So, does this movie remind me of Arthur Ashe’s dictum to ‘Start where you are, use what you have and do what you can’, it does absolutely!

PS: Arthur Ashe” Start where you are, use what you can, do what you can”

Circle of life

The circle of life matters, he said sagely.

Then? she asked.

Well, you let only those who really care about into your circle.

Ok, the cat? , she asked.

Yes, the cat if you care deeply about her. Otherwise no.

She sighed.

I cleaned my circle of life long back, it’s just me in here now,he chuckled.

She looked for pain in his voice, there was none.

Ok, so remember this, in fact underline this truth, ‘the circle of life’ alone matters.

If there are people, things, events that do not concern you, or those that never showed concern for you, chuck them off, just do that ruthlessly because what matters is your peace of mind.

And keep removing and adding to your circle of life, keep only those that really matter, REALLY.

Now about caring for self, remember the aircraft instructions to wear the oxygen mask, unless you first take care of yourself,you can’t take care of others.

And that is not selfishness, if you are happy, truly happy, then only you can take care of others.

How often do we forget to take care of ourselves, in our urge to save others?

How often does that lead us to crib and cry of un -returned favors and unfinished agendas?

So,keep the fundamentals of life simple,

Manage your circle of life well.

Love thyself

Let go what is not yours….

Ain’t it all so easy?!

PS: Great wisdom,mischievous mind

And then you come

Perhaps the universe in her infinite wisdom

decided to splash a color or two amidst the pall

and said ‘rejoice,your being in your heart’

then came the skies,the breeze and the scents

and with it came a gentle presence

a chuckle and a snort and a giggle

in the closed boxes that they live

love blooms against the dark skies

eons back he said,’ familiarity breeds contempt’

but what if it did just the opposite!


സുന്ദരം തന്നെ

കയ്പ് നിറഞ്ഞതാകുന്നു

കൊച്ചു പുഞ്ചിരികൾ
ആര് കാണാൻ

ജീവിത ബന്ധങ്ങളെ
കൂടുതൽ മുറുക്കുന്നത്
എന്ത് കൊണ്ടാണ്

സ്വയം അറിയാനുള്ള
പരക്കം പാച്ചലിൽ
മനുഷ്യൻ സ്വയം
മറക്കുന്നതെന്തു കൊണ്ടാണ്

ഒളിഞ്ഞിരിക്കുന്ന ഉത്തരങ്ങൾ


ഒന്ന് നിന്നാൽ
എന്തെങ്കിലും നഷ്ടപ്പെടുമെന്ന്
അയാൾ വല്ലാതെ ഭയന്നു
ആ ഓട്ടം

നിർത്താതെയുള്ള ഓട്ടം
ദൂരെ ഒരു പാട് ദൂരെ എത്തി മാത്രം
ഒന്ന് നിന്നയാള് നെടുവീർപ്പിട്ടു
കാറ്റ് കൊണ്ട് വന്ന വസന്തം
തന്റേതല്ലെന്നു അയാൾ ശഠിച്ചു

സമയത്തിന്റെ കൊച്ചു വർത്തമാനങ്ങൾ
തന്നെ കളിയാക്കുകയാണ് എന്ന് അയാൾ വിശ്വസിച്ചു
ഒന്ന് നില്ക്കു
ഞാൻ ഒന്ന് പറയട്ടെ
അവൾ കേണപേക്ഷിച്ചു

വാക്കുകളിൽ ഒതുങ്ങാത്ത
വ്യഗ്രതയോടെ അയാൾ പടിയിറങ്ങി ഓടി

കതകു സ്വല്പം ചാരി വച്ച്
അവൾ സമാധാനിച്ചു

വാതിൽ പഴുതിലൂടെ
ഒരു പക്ഷെ
ഓര്മ തെറ്റി
കേറി വന്നാലോ

എത്ര തവണ
വഴി മാറി എത്തിയിരിക്കുന്നു
എത്ര പേര്
അപ്പോൾ ഇയാളും വരും

സന്ധ്യക്ക്‌ വിളക്കിന്റെ
വെളിച്ചത്തിൽ വന്നു വീഴുന്ന
കൊച്ചു കൊച്ചു പ്രാണികൾ
ഇതിൽ ഏതായിരിക്കും അയാൾ

അവൾ ഒന്നുറക്കെ ചിരിച്ചു.