Life has been a topsy turvy business with things falling into her plate and her trying hard to balance and get ahead.
It has been only a few years since she sort of took charge of her own life, meaning decisions, actions,how she spent her time etc. The results have been rewarding and energizing.
What was earlier a chore or a difficult thing to bear now sat quietly and even pleasurably into her life routine.
Regaining her chirpiness and laughter, she was amazed at what the slight yet significant changes did to her emotional landscape.
Loneliness though was a difficult thing to beat and it crept on her in the most unusual times and broke her resolve and often her heart.
It danced on her few achievements and mocked her ‘happiness’.
‘What for’, it asked derisively,’ is your happiness if you can’t even share it!’
She hung her head in shame and relapsed into a rather humiliating and self deprecating phase of reaching out, calling for help…
Nevertheless, life brought with it, interesting people, some who stopped by and insisted, come out, you need a break or another who said, hey come on catch a movie with us.
She did muster enough courage to spend a new year’s eve in good company and go out a few times and strangely found that she was perhaps missing it all!
A distant friend then who has taken it upon herself to be closer, Lilly, one who blooms in her life in rare times called. She wished her well and appreciated, ‘you have come far my dear, I will call you when the next virus comes!’
Work calls have always been a savior offloading mind from what is lacking to help focus on the lack of time to complete a task!
Then with Corona and a renewed effort to find a friend she managed to find a soul given to much sharing , jovial cracking ups, a soul seeking some sort of an adventure, broken at times but willing to self repair and move on, and a new friendship struck and she said, ok, let’s just talk this out and see where this goes.
With the universe as the guardian force, for the first time in a long period of almost unnatural yearning, she felt free of a longing for what is not and looking forward to talk, just talk.
So, after much challenging and more testing, the life force beckons for gentler matters and she obliged gratefully..no questions,no expectations..just the now..just that.
Given the twists and tuns of life so far, it was good just to be in the moment and lean on a friendship as long as it lasts!
Bald and beautiful?,Let’s see, she laughed.