The all consuming role of a mother so entranced me that I had no clue of a world outside for over 2 decades. Life went by swiftly and I woke up with a shock and a surprise when I saw my lil girl all packed and ready to move.
Oh! dear me! what am I to do now? My heart cried out when my bestest pal and the only one on the planet sought permission to move ahead in life. I struggled to keep calm and maintain my composure as tornadoes broke out swinging my heart like a pendulum. I lost appetite. I imagined worst diseases that awaited me. In fact I decided to be a renunciate and move out of the city to the calm of a faraway ashram. What is there in life any more? The purpose of living is now moving out.
Strange but true, I hit the rock bottom from the happy space I had found myself in but I worked on myself continuously. When an incurable sudden pain appeared on my left arm, I realized it is nothing but manifestation of my emotional baggage.
I decided to look around and reconnect to people, colleagues beyond the so called utilitarian purposes, it was difficult and it still is, for a recluse like me to step out of my comfort zone but I did and took some chances on the way.
The experiences have been mixed and I am navigating a new territory yet the learning has been immense. I discovered world anew, changes I had not noticed, people who I did not know existed. The trepidation is still there, the fear or the doubt and the hesitation but there is also a willingness to understand and not to distrust at the first instance.
Mostly I look at my parents and learn resilience everyday. I find what power good intentions and a good heart can bring to lives, theirs and to those who they interact with.
As I start my research work and connect to new people and listen to them and make notes, the universe seems to have stitched the threads of all goals into one, seamlessly, by connecting faraway dots and allowing me to watch new patterns emerge.
I look on in wonderment and hope, eager for a brighter morrow and hear its approaching footsteps.