Watch your desires

‘Sometimes we need to be careful of what we ask for. Life gives you what you ask and so you have to be cautious about what you put out to the universe. ‘

My beloved friend was heart broken at the news of the loss of lives of his dear and near ones in his village. He was far away and could not do anything .

‘I do everything, Lekha’, he said his words aching with pain. ‘I reach out. I call every day and I support everyone but’… the words were washed out in agonised silence.

‘When the elderly at home are in pain, I can only watch from far. That is my tragedy.

You see, I have everything, I am reasonably rich, I have been successful. I have a beautiful family, yet I ache to go back and now it is near to impossible.

My children are of this land. They will never be able to adjust to my state or the ways of life there.

Its like a trap.

I come from a agrarian family. We have always had enough. Yet, once I saw an aunt who had returned from the States. It intrigued me so much that I went to inquire about studying abroad. When that did not materialize, I decided to move abroad for work and that is what I did.

Sometimes I think why it is important for all of us not to be successful. Some of us should be just ok. Ok enough to stay back with our parents. Ok enough to have no high flying ambitions to conquer the world.

At a time when there is a crisis, I can send them money, help, assistance but I cannot be present there in person.

This corona has stung me hard. It pains me everytime I think of it. What is the purpose of my achievements if I can not be of use to my parents in time of their need?

Know what you are asking for in life, Lekha. It is important otherwise you will end up feeling trapped in situations of your own making and will have no way to come out of it. ‘

My dear friend is an empath, he reaches out to all of his friends from school to college and even to their siblings and parents. He does not hesitate to help in kind when needed.

Yet, when he said these words, I realized how life has its own course to run. Another friend of mine, moved back to Chennai a few years ago, and she reasoned, ‘you know Lekha, we don’t get good tomatoes here and children’s education is better there’ . Really, I was surprised, never heard this being the reason for someone moving back to India before!

What would I tell my dear friend then who is in a dilemma, ‘relax and go about life and know that we all have the power to change anything anytime, really!. Trust your instincts’.

At times, I am offered options to move to Canada, USA and other places but seriously, all I want to do is to move closer home, yeah right back to where my parents are!

It is stressful, I agree and surely we can’t stand each other too long but may be I can put myself up at a safe yet close distance!!!

I watch their relief as I am around for a few months, the issues of internet, changing the password, going to the bank, looking up something on internet , the magic of google pay or just staying put and having dinner together. I see how much fumbling or fuming in fury is avoided in the comfort of a younger person. It is something I would not have noticed or thought about. Age does catch up and those who you thought were invincible are humbled by the advancement of years, to some extent at least.

Parents would never talk about it, but when you stay around you watch, you see and understand and probably want to give them the care they deserve.

This is my world. Yes, not everything is rosy here but it will not be so anywhere else as well.

Home is where your heart is.

Find joys around you. Live life as you wish in your place. Yes, it is not easy, but who ever said that life is a cake walk!

10 thoughts on “Watch your desires”

Leave a Reply to adhyapika Cancel reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.