ആത്മഗതം

ഒരേ ചരടിൽ ചേർത്ത ജീവിതങ്ങൾ
വേർപിരിയാൻ വെമ്പുന്ന ആത്മാക്കൾ
കാലത്തിന്റെ കുരുക്കിൽ വീണ്ടും വീണ്ടും
വരിഞ്ഞ് മുറുക്കപ്പെടുമ്പോൾ
മുറിവേൽക്കുന്നതു ആർക്കാണ്

ആത്മാവിന്റെ നൊമ്പരം കഥകളിലൂടെയും
കവിതക്ളിലൂടെയും പറയുന്നവർ
ഒളിക്കുന്നതു എന്താണ്
ആരെയാണവർ പേടിക്കുന്നത്

കൂട്ടിൽ പെട്ട കിളികളെ പോലെ
സ്വന്തം ചിറക്കുകളെ കത്രിക്കുന്നവർ
എന്തിനാണ് സ്വയം നൊമ്പരപ്പെടുത്തുന്നത്
സ്വന്തം പീഡനത്തിലൂടെ ആരെയാണ്അവർ
മുറിവേല്പിക്കാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുന്നത്

ആകാശം താണ്ടി വരുന്ന സ്നേഹ സന്ദേശങ്ങൾ
അവരിൽ മാത്രം എത്താന് മടിക്കുന്നത് എന്ത് കൊണ്ടാണ്
കാറ്റിന്റെ മര്മരവും പക്ഷികളുടെ ചിലമ്പലും
അവരിൽ അലോരസം ഉളവാക്കുന്നതെന്തു കൊണ്ടാണ്

പകുതി പാടി നിർത്തിയ പാട്ടും
തീരാത്ത ദുഖവും എന്തിനാണ്
അവർ മറ്റുള്ളവർക്ക് സമ്മാനിക്കുന്നത്
അവർക്കു പറയാനുള്ള കഥകൾ ആരും കേട്ടില്ല എന്നായിരിക്കുമോ

Winding up

A sense of winding up has entered me and a restlessness that comes with it. Perhaps it is the reality that its time to get back to work or that I have to move out of this island of tranquility here at Kopparambil, away from the pouring rain, the orchestra of crickets and the sweet clamour of birds chirping away in a life of great busyness.

I am drawn to this place more than ever and to its ambience of calm remoteness, that the very thought of it is soothing to my heart.

Yet, work is there to complete. The research has to be wound up, completed, processes to be followed.

Then, perhaps then, a life here of writing, training, some travelling and of making ice creams, yes, loads and loads of ice creams,home made and ready to be sold, hmmm… that sounds inviting somehow, very appealing and it is just early morning and I am back to dreaming!

That picture sort of appeals to me. A few years back I fancied being a cab driver, that should be great fun or so I thought, to whiz past the city and have some good conversation, will it be good always, hmmm maynot be so, still it is worth a try. I was tempted really, still am.

Then it was to sell cookies and coffee, which I kind of do well I guess. So, a cafe with books to read and a lady of some reading as company should be a cool idea. So I thought and I still do.

Now its the ice cream that I want to make, loads of it, then dance classes to run and to attend too, lots of writing, some training and the birds chirping and the crickets busy at their orchestra, sounds interesting…. well, life has always sprung surprises, so I can merely give suggestions, after all its is for Him to dispose!

But the break has been good. It was great to be the kid who appreciates the blessings of pampering by parents. It was great to be allowed to sit and read and write and be taken care of. It was great to listen to stories, my childhood, his childhood, what they did, how they did, there we went, there we did not go and how it all happened… stories galore!

Mostly the abundance of a village home, of plenty of jack fruits, mangoes, guava, tapioca, all sorts of berries and greens which cross fences and reach your dining table, in an eagerness to be consumed and well appreciated for being who they are and the constant jostling of parents, ‘look at him’, ‘see, this is how he is’ and then the little things you do that seem to make their lives easy, add this contact, shut this noise, book that, visit the atm, buy this medicine, call that person, somehow making you feel somewhat useful and rather important.

But now its is time to pack up!!!

And I am hugely reluctant!!! Life!!!

Dear sky

Dear sky

when was it that you chose to walk into my soul

clear a few dark clouds to park your sunshine

and decided to stay on causing bright smiles

to bloom on a face given to fantasies

peeping into eyes much given to daydreams

and sleepwalking in the mornings

what made you choose me

of all the beautiful lives around

so that tears and joys have since

divided a heart into equal portions

with some mischief and hope thrown in

that I wonder if I am floating by

or just living on

really!!!

yeah really so!!!

so much so that if death were to come by

without formalities of invitation or notice

I might just walk behind head stooped in newbride’s blush

meek and ready, take me, I am yours, I would sure tell him

yeah really

really so!!!