Aren’t we all actors?, he said sagely, just that some people have made it a profession.
We were discussing roles and social expectations of ways of living, relationships, work, religions, hobbies and everything else, when my friend quipped sofltly in a mood of reflection. As I explore conversations and sharing, I realise more and more that great relationships inside or outside marriage are mostly a mirage,or at the least rather rare. I listen eagerly and respect the sharing because there is defintely a need to hear and be heard.
I made a friend who loves banter and soon I got addicted to wit and nonsense in equal measure which formed the staple of our conversation. Soon enough though I realised that I was becoming needy and attention seeking. I knew I could excuse myself on the ground of loneliness and other such sad faced expressions, but it was clear to me that all I was doing was ask for attention, like a cribbing child.
I told my good friend to help me get over this whining phase in silence; affections or friendships need not and should not be imposing, should they? If tied down and burdened with expectations, they would die an unnatural death, early too!
That does leave me with myself, which is good and bad in equal measure, because with the pressure of research, I am often pressed to share a lighter moment or two though mostly, I am focussed inward.
I was also thinking of my reluctance to get back to work after the ceasura, a short break or sabbatical, and like the proverbial school boy I was refusing to walk to university, like a snail!
A young voice then asked me to introspect, ‘ so you have not forgotten of someone walking out on responsibililities and how you struggled with it? Work does help, just get back to it’.
Yes, I thought so too, despite my attachment to research, I should definitely get back to work ,after all, haven’t I come this far!
Work or no work, friend or no friend, the basic principle of contentment, is all about self acceptance, rest can be managed, most of it atleast.