hurts don’t heal

Some days are long agonizing

dipped in pain

twisting the innards

into grotesque patterns

deep wails of sorrow

despite knowledge

and time that soothes

somedays are meant to be spent in tears

sad reflections of the loss of a happy person

and his care and love that left one dazed

then the vacuum all the more painful

but that is life. So be it.

Travel Thoughts

Post my trip to Kolkatta, my confidence in my travel skils has improved. I am thrilled too at the experience of awesome hospitality and great fish, delightful conversations and the sight of the most quintessentially beautiful bengali bride I have ever seen and her loving, deeply caring parents and their love for eachother.

My heart aches with tenderness at such sight. I look away and think of a daughter back home and of her wedding someday. It breaks my heart to think of it but time has its way and one cannot stall events in life.

When my daughter talks of her trip back to the hostel or for work now, I struggle to hold myself. In a rush, my mind schemes of finding company and not living in a sense of delirious loneliness… which is an exaggeration for seriously, I have been working at solitude and have even learnt to enjoy the phase as it comes.

I think so at least and that is when the thought of travel appeals to me again.

Of packing bags and going off for the sake of going, that must be something.

My travels have been utilitarian so far, there has been a purpose- to meet someone, visit parents, drop someone, learn something, but the travel that is truly enchanting is the one that is for its own sake… that requires a hell lot of courage but I seem to be getting there, so I think.

I am reading ‘Road to Nara’ and about Narayan’s constant travel and am deeply inspired, nay pulled to do something of the same.

A few years ago, when I had still not sold off my car, I had suggested to my daughter that we go on a road trip, mother and daughter and she had little confidence in me perhaps, so she shrugged and said, ‘you real crazy! aren’t you?’

But it does look like the universe is calling me to the road or the road to me because, every single friend of mine that I happen to connect to these days has to compulsorily say, ‘Listen, we will go for a trip ok. You and I, hmm..maybe we will take our kids….maybe not, how about that?’ and I just smile.

I am constantly surprised by the universe who seem to think ahead and bring about new possibilities, at least in suggestions, things I would not have even thought about, but ever since I learned to trust her infinite wisdom, I am merely her humble vassal.

Thathastu to great travels and great living now and forevermore!