In order to quell the restlessness of my mind, running across different directions all at once and nullifying my efforts to pursue my researh interests, I take to the reading of ‘Autobiography of a yogi’ . I have read it before and will read it again. But to my surprise, there is a sense of calm that my mind refuses to allow me to open the facebook that evil occupier of my leisure time and directs me to read instead.
I am trying for sure and working hard too, but I do feel somewhat more empowered with this text by my side, a copy of Palgrave’s Golden Treasury, a copy of ‘Phenomenal Woman’ by Maya Angelou and some notes put up on the window sill and the almirahs, where I decorate myself with such endearing adjectives like, ‘smart lekha’, disciplined sreelekha’, ‘dr.sreelekha’, ‘power of learning’, ‘researcher’, ‘disciplined researcher’ and other such hyperboles, help me drown my doubts of ‘too late, too much!!!’, can I ? Am I doing the right stuff?’ and other such nigglers and guide me to work, just work, to be able to do enjoyable reading and try to make something of it, is it not good enough?
To be able to ask questions and to be told’, oh, but you are the first person to ask us this? ‘ , ‘I never thought much of this’, ‘I would like to read what comes of all this!’ at once puts a hell lot of pressure and it excites the learner in me.
But all said and done, thathastu to the completion of the thesis!
The universe lends a hand and smiles as always at the inefficient, yet tireless striving of a miniscule being on the planet, ‘each to his own’ , muses she!
But why am I reminded of Dr. Faustus!!!!????