All posts by adhyapika

Learning to live, living to learn


Sometimes even the triumphantly emphatic feminist in her, leans towards a pillar, a wall or just something to share a bit of the weight.

But who said that being strong came from a one man show, it is way stronger when there is a team, right? But the right team!

So I decide to needle my good friend out of her complacence.

Life is demanding, challenging, battles have been won and lost,yet at the end of the day, one looks for good company, a good friend, to have long talks and long walks as equals, preferably.

But, aye therein lies the rub!cause the world as it is filled with loners, incurable romantics and yearners of all kinds, makes it a tad difficult to find the one, just the way you want!

I laughed at Anu’s catch-22 situation, ‘to do or not to do, if to do , then what to do, and how to do!’

We laughed out together!

‘I am not the socializing type’, said she.

‘How come? asked I, ‘you have a giant smile pasted all the time’!

‘Oh!that’s is a mask’, comes the answer, ‘a shield life has taught me well to wear.’

‘Come on’, I don’t believe you’.

‘Your choice!’, Says she.

We don’t want to argue so we leave it at that.

Tathasthu and Mindfulness

Tathasthu in Sanskrit means ‘so be it’. This week I have heard of ‘Tathastu’ from three different people in three different contexts.

One is an eminent academician, who chirpily commented, ‘You know what , it is said that what you say has to happen because the ashwini kumaras who are roaming around our world are happily saying to all our utterances, ‘Thathasthu’ or so be it.

‘Therefore, Lekha you just go ahead and wish for the best, it’s gonna happen’ and we giggled together!

By the way, here is a quote from Rigvedas as quoted in Wikipedia

our chariot, o Aśvins, swifter than mind, drawn by good horses, comes to the clans.
By which (chariot) you go to the home of the good ritual performer, by that, o men, travel your course to us.
You free Atri, the seer of the five peoples, from narrow straits, from the earth cleft along with his band, o men—confounding the wiles of the merciless Dasyu, driving them out, one after another, o bulls.
O Aśvins—you men, you bulls—by your wondrous powers you draw back together the seer Rebha, who bobbed away in the waters, like a horse hidden by those of evil ways. Your ancient deeds do not grow old.— 1.117.2–4, in The Rigveda, translated by Stephanie W. Jamison (2014)

So the Asvins or Ashwini devas as they are called have been invoked since the vedic times even to this day.

Now at home, when things go awry, I lament in my old fashioned manner, mostly seeking some attention, ‘hey bhagwan, bola lo,mujhe’ and my daughter gets very annoyed.

‘Why do you say this, what if some one,( some higher beings such as Yakshas and Kinnaras can do that too, apparently!) said, ‘tathastu’ and she threatens me saying’ I will also say it, mind you!’ and of course, I learn another lesson in minding my manners!

But how intricately is Thathasthu related to mindfulness is what I was thinking.

Its what you think that happens so better be watchful of thoughts which are just passing by strangers to your mind. It is up to you to pick up the right one to ponder on and dismiss the rest!

So there is this rather story of a mom who while crossing the river told her naughty restless child that the river may take the kid, and the river did.

Now that is a story but constant reiteration what is not there in your life, makes you focus on what is not there and as they say what you focus on expands,what you ignore retracts.

So, if you are hard on money, don’t repeatedly talk about about its lacking, if you are lacking in love or friends or whatever just focus on what you have or even keep a mindset of richness regarding these areas and well, thathasthu works!

So, what are you doing with thathasthu?!!!

Talking to your higher soul

How often do we forget that we are but spirits dressed in our bodies? Spirits from far above,with a reason or none but spirits the same. We, both you and I have infinite possibilities and should continuously reach out to realize the same.

Well, possibilities in love, possibilities in knowing self, possibilities in living a better life, possibilities in sharpening our skills and wowing the world! Why not?

In one of my counselling sessions, a student said, ‘its all luck mam, there is nothing else’.

Really, I countered, disagreeing with him.

I was listening to Deshuana Barber ,the unlikely Miss USA. She was spotted by a kind lady who said’ she is the most beautiful girl ever’ and that changed her life, but wait, her success came only after she failed 6 times in a row.

I was amazed at her not giving up.

Long back when I wanted to pursue journalism and was selected for interview at Indian Institute of Mass Communication, I was thrilled but didn’t clear the interview and I gave up.

I did not try to enter for admission at even the local colleges. Looking back I feel the confidence and the courage to live my life and take my own decisions could have come to me earlier had I just done that!

Well, who is to change the past?!!! It’s futile.

But now several years later I have found my freedom of expression, a level head that weighs and takes decisions and a spirit unafraid in me, it sort of thrills me to say this even though I paid a very very heavy price to reach here.

But as I would say now with a wisdom gained from pain and life experiences, that there is definitely a higher soul in you and me, that lends us a glance into its existence when we hit the rock bottom or merely when we step out of our comfort zone.

The higher soul that is connected to the universe lifts, hugs and cuddles, she whispers strength mantras and showers kisses, caressing a broken spirit to lull to sleep and rise again like a phoenix.

Tune in to the higher soul.

Talk to your self

Talk to the universe.

For she, the all knowing has watched many of us come and go, her wisdom is the root of our being, her love is our laughter.

Even in our transience we may then rejoice!!!

The Platform and the Corona

It was definitely not a good movie to watch at lunch, yet we were huddled in front of the laptop, me, my daughter and Aswin and we were so fascinated,intrigued, horrified that it became impossible to eat food.

At one point I wanted to stop watching the movie, in fact at many points, but I could not, The Platform on Netflix, fascinates, horrifies and sort is repulsive even, yet it holds your attention.

I looked up its description and it said it is a sci-fi horror film but I thought it was more than it.

Like the stair cases in Parasite,so the levels in The Platform!

The Platform sci-fi, horror, thriller film where in an ironically named Vertical Self Management Center dehumanizes existence of the living.

Goreng, enters the platform with a book in his hand hoping to get for himself an ‘Accredited Diploma’, funny how accreditation is a ‘gold mine’ for the sellers of ‘degrees, diplomas’!

What happens there after is a night mare of atrocities too difficult even to comprehend.

Having said that one cannot stop from thinking of how as a people we prey on others in so many ways.

Does our existence and our opportunities and our thriving somehow manage to cast a shadow on others?

One realizes the ‘man eat man’ nature of our survival.

I look at these stories that are well told as a treasure, besides remembering the old adage ‘art precedes science’ , one wonders, where are we heading really.

With us the middle class cocooned in our homes and the migrating workers left to fend for themselves in the sweltering heat and the danger of corona, is it playing out already.

The Platform (2019) - IMDb

As the quarantine begins to unwind, I am already suffering from withdrawal symptoms, moodiness and what not!

Well, let me know how you liked this sci-fi horror!

50/50 – movie Review

In a series of movie watching that is bringing us together and giving us ideas to discuss and debate on while simultaneously lounging in the front room and even sometimes sipping wine, we chanced upon 50/50 following the recommendations on the net.

That is some movie on the spirit of survival? I can’t say how much I loved Adam and his friend – Joseph Gordon- Levitt and Seth Rogen.

The monk like appearance of Adam post his chemo arouses love,care and empathy in the viewers and in Kyle one finds the best friend we all long for,that irreverent joker who has his sunny side up always.

After the movie, we went to sleep. comforted of a beautiful world despite the quarantine and salary cuts and a general feel of impending dangers to our existence by the sheer force of the director’s ability to turn a tragedy into a laughable experience.

Having had a close ring side view of my brother’s struggle with Mito chondrial cytopathy, the apathy of many who could have lend a hand, the outpouring of love from his 4 steadfast friends and my parents’ endless struggle and his own ability to keep a cheerful face, all flashed in front of my eyes.

Between the two of us, my brother was snatched from life at a very young age and having suffered excruciating pain of more than a life time, he took with him many other things from my life, as if purging me and also teaching me the essence of living. That said as spirits we stand united and some how still manage to connect. Now does that sound creepy?!!! It is not.

50/50 (2011 film) - Wikipedia


Gosh! What a story! And what cinematography. We sat gripped to our seats and when it ended felt a bit betrayed that it should end!

So , I read that it got Jazz all wrong! maybe but it got all the acting and the story line great.

That was some super amazing story telling with excellent acting skills.

I guess I will not forget this movie ever!

J.K Simmons excels as the abusive band leader and so does Miles Teller as the ambitious student.

Stealthy lover

Stealthy lover

stealing life

prying from nowhere

sometimes around the corner

waiting to pounce

a happy unhappy surprise

it does not matter to him

what he does to you

but obey you have to nevertheless

the lease of life sometimes extends

many times is cut short

he is the master

wonder why we don’t worship him

knowing his peculiar ways

his all powerful unyielding stance

or those sudden inexplicable getaways

the master of every life

Yama, the lord

a prince once took offence

and turned mendicant

we do often ignore him

till he shows up from nowhere

a reminder of the grim truth

accept, allow, embrace

life and exchange of energies

transcending time, place

stealthy lover of life

your insatiable thirst

often breaks hearts and homes