Category Archives: #friend

ആത്മാവിന്റെ നിശ്ശബ്ദതകൾ

നിറങ്ങൾ കൂട്ടുന്ന
സ്വപ്നങ്ങൾ തീർക്കുന്ന
സൗഹ്രദങ്ങൾ കണ്ണ് നീര്
ഉതിർക്കുന്നതു സാധാരണയാണ്

ആത്മാവിന്റെ നിശ്ശബ്ദതകൾ
ഉണര്ന്നുമ്പോൾ ഉറങ്ങി കിടന്ന
മോഹങ്ങൾ വീണ്ടും ചലിക്കുമ്പോൾ
വേദനകൾ നിത്യ സാധാരണം തന്നെ

നിശബ്ദതയെ പുൽകി ഉള്ളിലേക്ക് മാത്രം നോക്കി
പുറം ലോകത്തെ അറിയാതെ വേണം ജീവിക്കാൻ
എങ്കിൽ മാത്രമേ വേദനകൾ സ്വാഭാവികമാണ് കരുതാനും
കണ്ണ് നീര് ആത്മാവിന്റെ സ്വന്തം നീർ ചോലയാണെന്നും
ആശ്വസിക്കാൻ കഴിയൂ

ആത്മാവിന്റെ നീണ്ട തണുത്ത ഇടനാഴികളിൽ നടന്നു
തന്നെ നീരിക്ഷിക്കുന്ന തന്നെ മനസ്സിലാക്കാൻ ശ്രമിക്കുന്ന
കാലത്തെ അവൾക്കു പലപ്പോഴും കണ്ടില്ലെന്നു നടിക്കേണ്ടി വന്നു
തന്നെ മനസ്സിലാക്കാത്ത കാലത്തെ താൻ എന്തിനറിയണം എന്ന്
അവൾ ചിന്തിച്ചിരിക്കണം

വിടരുകയും പൊലിയുകയും ചെയുന്ന പുഷ്പങ്ങൾ ആണ്
ജീവിത ബന്ധങ്ങൾ യാത്രകൾ മുന്നോട്ടു തന്നെ ആവണമല്ലോ
അത് കൊണ്ട് യാത്രക്കിടയിൽ കൈ കൊടുത്തും പുഞ്ചിരിച്ചും
സൗഹ്രദങ്ങൾ തീർക്കുക തന്റെ ഇഷ്ടത്തിന് ഒക്കണം എല്ലാം എന്ന്
വാശി പിടിക്കരുത് എല്ലാം നല്ലതിനെന്നു വിശ്വസിക്കുക

Ps:Life is a process of understanding the self

Kolkatta Ahoy!

It is been on my mind for sometime, nay, years, the deep desire to move, observe and travel places at my own pace.

Finding courage, convenience and other essentials for the same was somehow was not happening.

But then, the universe has a way of letting one realise one’s aspirations, so before I knew I had said yes to travel to attend a wedding of a dear girl, yes, even amidst the pandemic.

But life doesnot present opportunities again and again, and to be invited to a special event with such love and euphoria is an experience in itself, if in the past, I dared not to step out, in fear of censure and ridicule, it is not so anymore, so I venture boldly and say, ‘Kolkatta ahoy’ in the style of Ishmael in Moby Dick, that timeless classic on whale hunting…

We were discussing how we train and teach boldness, yet when it comes to our personal choices and lives, we are exceptionally hesitant, that’s hypocrisy, right?, or something to this effect in our lady group.

So, we said, let’s try walking the lane and practice what we so often advice, perhaps we may end up wiser!

Besides one realises that it is more difficult to live by one’s own terms than succumbing to the social norms to which one conforms willy-nilly.

Definitely the lady group is abuzz with talk of travel,figurative and otherwise, the ship is ready to sail….just that the sailsmen should be kindred souls… it looks to be so ..as of now.

actors All

Aren’t we all actors?, he said sagely, just that some people have made it a profession.

We were discussing roles and social expectations of ways of living, relationships, work, religions, hobbies and everything else, when my friend quipped sofltly in a mood of reflection. As I explore conversations and sharing, I realise more and more that great relationships inside or outside marriage are mostly a mirage,or at the least rather rare. I listen eagerly and respect the sharing because there is defintely a need to hear and be heard.

I made a friend who loves banter and soon I got addicted to wit and nonsense in equal measure which formed the staple of our conversation. Soon enough though I realised that I was becoming needy and attention seeking. I knew I could excuse myself on the ground of loneliness and other such sad faced expressions, but it was clear to me that all I was doing was ask for attention, like a cribbing child.

I told my good friend to help me get over this whining phase in silence; affections or friendships need not and should not be imposing, should they? If tied down and burdened with expectations, they would die an unnatural death, early too!

That does leave me with myself, which is good and bad in equal measure, because with the pressure of research, I am often pressed to share a lighter moment or two though mostly, I am focussed inward.

I was also thinking of my reluctance to get back to work after the ceasura, a short break or sabbatical, and like the proverbial school boy I was refusing to walk to university, like a snail!

A young voice then asked me to introspect, ‘ so you have not forgotten of someone walking out on responsibililities and how you struggled with it? Work does help, just get back to it’.

Yes, I thought so too, despite my attachment to research, I should definitely get back to work ,after all, haven’t I come this far!

Work or no work, friend or no friend, the basic principle of contentment, is all about self acceptance, rest can be managed, most of it atleast.

Drive again & Teachers missing classrooms

Now, its sometime since I sold my car and driving, I thought has slipped off my skill set. And Kerala, with its narrow roads and screaming buses somehow intimidated me.

Yet, when my uncle wanted a lift to the bus stop a good three years earlier in Calicut, he asked me to take out my cousin’s car. ‘It’s not mine no’, I said a bit apprehensive. ‘Ha ha,’ he laughed, ‘the car doesnot know that it not Gopi driving it,’ he said in jest.

I took out car under the watchful eyes of the owner’s father and took this gentleman to the bus stop and returned home, happy at having completed the task.

I wondered at Nandan chetan’s clarity of thought and how I am muddled in confusions which have no standing.

Despite much trepidation I decided to take the car here at Kopparambil, again that of another uncle and applied Nandan chetan’s logic, ‘of course, car does not know that it’s me. And the roads, well, they don’t know either that I come from Bangalore’, ha ha, I laughed to myself.

I had started off to go to Avnissery to visit the family temple but en route decided to head to Chakkamparambil Temple at Ashtamichira, Mala. Once on the road, I was thrilled to bits at the rush of fresh air and the sheer feeling of holding the steering wheel in my own two hands. What a pleasure!

Perhaps, being ‘bekaar’, I was also a bit ‘bebus’ or helpless, I thought to myself. And well, I dropped at my teacher friend, Maya’s beautiful home uninvited.

Of the many things that Maya does, she is a fantastic cook, she loves tailoring, has the most beautiful smile on the planet but most ardently, right at the core of her, she is a dedicated teacher, who enjoys her time in the classroom.

The moment she starts to share about her classroom, her eyes twinkle, her hands wave about in excitement and well, ‘Lekha, we teachers get a lot of love and affection from our students, don’t we, and that is a major missing due to this corona’. ‘Actually it is so acute that it pulls me down sometimes, she smiled a bit sadly flashing her famous dimple.

Petting her lab, Happy, she said, ‘this girl is my best buddy, see, she is so excited to see you!’

I thought of all the teachers who are struggling with the digital screens and sorely missing the human touch, when the world is sneering at them for ‘less workload’ and ‘ease of work’.

Really !!! the teaching community is constantly missing the classroom interaction as much as the students do and like the students themselves, they are itching for the noise in the corridors, in the classrooms and the rush of walking up and down, with the purpose of ‘making lives better’ and the pretext of adding value to lives they touch.

The new normal is rather abnormal, don’t you think?

Don’t give up

Don’t give up

the end is here

the end is near

it is dear, so don’t give up

not yet, not yet

I am with you

we move ahead

you and I, step by step

each moment

as it passes by

don’t give up

my love, you deserve much more

don’t give up

your heart is young even now

don’t give up

coz at the turn he stands

your love, with open arms

he welcomes you

by the clouds, he dances for you

he sends you rains

and flowers of rainbow too

don’t give up

I keep watching you through

don’t give up

he comes to you

riding the trails of gold

he comes to you

in sweet victory

so don’t give up

it’s never too late

cause you chose love

above everything else

don’t give up

dear love, I am with you here

don’t give up

ever again.

Your love divine

Your love divine

steers me through

in times of strife

I sing your songs

when pains grow strong

I come to your arms

for sleep and some solace

I turn back to you

in times of my joy

you dance with my soul

and help me see the truth

your love divine

is my daily medicine

the joys of your love

courses through my veins

pulsing my heart

it blooms as a smile on my face

dear universe

you are my guiding star

your love divine

is my breath and my soul

stay with me as I flounder in my path

stay with me and show me the way ahead

stay with me and show me the truth of life

stay with me

You hold my hand

You hold my hand

when I sink deep into sorrow

you help me stand

and reach the stars

you come to me

in my lonely times

and you rush me to

moments of happiness

you let me breathe

and seek my true purpose

you challenge me and

help me see it through

in you I see

a friend for ever to keep

in you I see

a guiding star above

in you I feel

a trust I never felt before

you walk by myside

nudging me to be my very best

you help me find

strengths I never knew I had

You lift me up

when times go churning round

thus I know I have found a true ever friend.

PS: the universe