Have you ever thought of life as a river? A stream of continuous emotions, thoughts, actions and experiences, a mixed bag, an ever changing eco system.
Have you ever thought of life as a river that is fed by multiple inlets of streams, small rivulets that replenish it from hills and plains of varied experiences alike?
Have you ever thought of life as river that needs multiple sources of joy, of love, of appreciation, of expression so that the life energies are well expended?
As a river that is in a state of flux, life demands that we explore multiple areas of self expression, that are creative, challenging and therefore, satisfying.
As you and I explore, new forms of art, new areas to travel to, new problems to work on, new ways to contribute to the society, life looks more interesting.
Let’s then have multiple rivulets of joy, love, appreciation, expression in our life, so that we don’t burden those in our immediate surroundings with our need for validation.
Let’s replenish our river of life and may new experiences of joy and abundance visit us more frequently!
Category: #reflections
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Life as a river -
Describe an item you were incredibly attached to as a youth. What became of it?
There was a time in my childhood when I felt that we were rich and that was when my father was successful as a manager and when we had a basket full of toys at a time, a when I was six years old and my brother a little one year old kid.
Life at that time, did seem good though we did not have many material goods. When in 2 years time, tide changed and we had to relocate to my grand father’s home, I was attached to a red pinochio clapping doll. It did hurt me when our furniture, our play items which we had to leave at our relative’s place were used by others, kids though they were… as I see it now.
Another gift my father always gave me was books, which at that time cost very less and he always obliged my request for books.
Later times changed and the insecurity that came with father’s uncertain job situation, made my parents, extremely cautious, we never spent anything again on frivolities like toys or books. Though already meek and very polite, my brother and I never dared ask for anything to my parents ever after.
My father regained confidence in his financial status only when I had spent almost two decades on the planet, amma smiled more easily and achan took to the habit of bringing snacks everyday on his way back home.
Even to this day, years after retirement my parents shudder at the pain this injustice caused to both of them, the shame and guilt they carried for no fault of theirs.
It is in this exuberance of newly found confidence that they went ahead and fixed my marriage in an jiffy. Two events followed in quick succession, my brother was diagnosed with a painful disease and I lost what ever confidence I had in front of my overbearing in laws and husband. My parents, after years of struggle to bring us up now engaged in caring for a very sick young man at home, with a warrior spirit to keep the smile alive on his face.
Strange are the ways of life, stranger are the ways it chooses to test….that is life, a mixed bag at any given time! Love it or hate it, you are in the game of life as long as you breathe. So it makes sense to choose love. Period.
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I learnt about switch words recently. Immediately, I shared it with my daughter and my friends, I said, use it, you should do it.
The frenzy lasted for a few days, but when it lasted there was more talk, some new thoughts and it was fun. The technique I hear is to repeat the switch word as many times as you please, something like a positive affirmation or the mantras we chant here in India.
I think the mind gets into an auto suggestion mode when it hears positive words on repeat and it sort of makes it happen.
Let me share what I learnt with you
DIVINE – is a switch word to use if you want to have miracles in life, who doesn’t !!!
REACH-HEALTHY-BE – is switch word to use for health
FIND-COUNT -DIVINE – is a switch word for wealth and prosperity
DO – is switch word to beat procrastination, like the Nike tag line, just do it
WOLF-MAGIC-BEGIN-NOW – is a switch word for quick solution
GIVE- is a switch word to sell anything
TOGETHER-DIVINE is a switch word for business growth
GOLDEN SUNRISE – is a switch word to use for any problem in life
TOGETHER DIVINE LOVE – is the switch word for love and relationship
There it goes, switch to positivity, use switch words!!!
Good luck, have a great day!!!
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What is the greatest gift someone could give you?
Tough question!!!!
I would love to receive opportunities to grow as a writer. To be able to explore by travelling, meeting people, spend days after days just writing.
Such trust and faith in my creative abilities means the world to me.
Or maybe I just want to be gifted some love, some time, some care…..
I do respect the question though, because when my friend Anwar asked me, did you have a crush, Lekha, I was so surprised, I wondered why no one ever asked me such a question before.
Then I had another friend, Binu Peter who, though casually, asked me what do you look for in a partner, I loved it that he chose to ask me this question.
And my daughter who asks me, ‘what would you like to eat ma? where would you like to go? what color do you like?’
Or sometimes my students who ask,’ what do you want to do more mam?, what place would you like to visit? who is your favorite student? or why do you write?’
I realize why questions are important now and relish it when questions are asked because well! for one it rules out assumption, doesn’t it?
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It was many years ago when as a 10 year kid, I secretly dreamed of becoming a writer. At Varandhiappilly, I found interesting books, texts prescribed for college, and devoured then enthusiastically cooped up in a corner some place. That of course, when I was probably playing hide and seek or not being told a story, which were my favourite past times apart from dreaming and loads and loads of sleeping.
I did manage to translate a small part or two of a big Malayalam compendium on great minds into English, which brought some attention to my writing but surely, it was not taken seriously by anyone, neither my parents nor me.
I continued fantasizing about my columns in the newspaper and books that were written by me being read around the world, a la Jane Austen or a Charlotte Brontee or more.
Then I am thrilled when someone tells me, ‘write that will you’, when a certain faith is placed in my writing, and I am in raptures, thrilled that someone could be kind enough to think of me as being capable of writing, yes, putting thoughts into words and words on to pages.
So, I write on my blog, on linkedin and now on instagram and on facebook and quora and more, as someone obsessed with the idea of being called a writer, and when they do, the joy is pure, so great is experienced as to bring tears to my eyes!!!
Small joys, great hopes, dreams and wishes, and the many challenges of being a writer…still worth it, any day, any where.
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If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?
It has to be blue. The blue of the sky, the dark blue of the night sky, the shades of blue of the clouds, there’s something so calming, yet so uplifting about the blue as a color.
Blue to me is vastness
a certain depth
a lightness too
a messenger of the universe
a beauty beyond words
blue it is!!!
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You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?
A space where there is no rush. Away from the noise of the city. A space of quiet love and sweet murmurs of understanding and companionship….ok, maybe that is too much to ask!
A grand old library where books smell of years of living, and have had many lovers, who have caressed them, mulled over them and perhaps hugged them to sleep.
But mostly a quiet space like my house in Varandhirapilly surrounded by trees, chirping of birds, that which allows reflection with sparse yet, carefully chosen furniture.
A space where a quick coffee is easy to make, a walk is always a possibility. Perhaps even a pond, like the one I dream of having in the compound of my ancestral village home.
In such space with no pretense whatsoever, tales could be heard from heavens above, the conduit would furnish points to ponder and the verses would flow…
Aah! if such is life, then it is heaven!!!
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Has it happened to you that often when you hit the nadir of your emotional wealth, you are surprised, nay shocked by a sudden affirmation of your worth , that somehow changes your view of the world and of course of yourself!
There have been many instances of these in my life, ever since I became aware of the presence of forces beyond me in my life and living, such was it on my birthday.
You see, I had stopped celebrations of birthdays after my brother’s passing, thinking of the unfairness of it all…
My daughter though would not let me be alone or unattended to on my birthdays and we would go out, ‘ let me take you out!, come on dress up!’, so she would say!
With her work and moving to another city, it is impossible for her to be with me. But it so happened that while I was sitting and brooding on my birthday, the door knocked and in walked two bright smiling faces, ‘ let’s celebrate your birthday’, the voices of the smart beautiful ladies said in unison!
I was stunned, even shocked to take the event for a good half an hour, and then it all changed, I was grateful that they thought of me and decided to visit me. I could not contain my happiness and I realized how like minded souls bring in so much joy!
But the mood swings are such that it hits a high and a low, with a severe headache, I walked home today, lacking in energy or verve, when a bike stopped by, I turned around to see two smart girls!
I could not recognize them. ‘We are your students mam! I stay here!’. ‘Oh! I recollected the faces and the names, the chirpy youngsters brought to my evening a sunshine that it lacked, ‘come home sometime, will you? I have a cat!’
‘I am a cat person’ , said Paki and Spoorthi smiled. They had changed from when I last taught them for the better, looked more hep and smarter today.
I walked home feeling instantly rejuvenated. It is a good day after all, and a good life too!
I thanked the universe for her messengers!!!
Blessed truly!!!
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You are like a man! said the ‘man’ of the house, hurling the words at me as if it were an abuse!
I knew that my efforts at ensuring my 13 year old daughter had a decent life, that the rent was paid, that there was food to eat by putting in more and more hours at work were out of best of intentions.
It did not occur to me even once to turn back and run to my parents when my ex decided to quit his job and relax! at home.
As I pushed myself into more and more work, I was also doing my best to stay away from the toxicity that enveloped my place and keeping myself sane if only to be the mother that I want to be and the daughter that have to be to my parents dealing with the pain of seeing their son struggle with a difficult disease.
But words stick, and how!!!
I was not perhaps great at grooming even otherwise but then I lost all interest in it and went about as I was without stopping in front of the mirror for years together. I was single mindedly focused on the upbringing of my daughter, managing my self in a space that seeming increasingly unsafe to me, pretending ‘all is well’ back to my parents and doing whatever possible to keep the income steady.
That meant that I changed five homes in a span of 10 years and 5 jobs too!!!
Yet, the other day, when I sighed how I lacked a certain daintiness of a woman, my friend smiled in understanding, who says so, ‘You are the most elegant as a woman. You also have a kind heart, and a great value system. You are also a good leader!’, I smiled at her in gratitude.
We all can do with a few good words from those who mean what they say, don’t we?
For I have always been aware of the power of words and been mindful of their capacity to hurt and hence use them carefully, yet, I wished if to be a recipient of kinder words myself.
A friend, I greatly enjoyed talking to recently turned distant and I felt deeply hurt at words that came my way, kind words don’t cost much, but why so harsh, I wanted to ask???!!!
As they say, the true wealth is kindness alone! So, spread it generously!
For those who are at the receiving end of harsh words, know that it is not the person, it is his/her state of mind that speaks harsh, so forgive, forget and move on!
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What was the last thing you did for play or fun?
Hmmm… I don’t know where these questions are coming from, but they are soo much me……
So, I made a friend with whom I enjoyed talking gibberish and then well, we are not talking gibberish any more and I sorely missed it. Toughest thing on the planet is to want to talk to a friend who thought you have a good connection with and then being able to do so due to differences of opinion. The feeling of having a personal ‘aha’ moment and not finding your ‘gibberish’ friend to hear it out is
Then I found a twig on my path to the waiting station, a twig that lay on the road, helpless, unaided, trembling perhaps in the cold Bangalore weather, which I stepped on in a sense of excitement, walked up and down it to hear it break into small crumbles of wood pieces and well! I did imagine I was trampling over a certain someone and felt instantly happy, it was great fun to do that!
On a regular day, I generally look for a pebble or two on the road and take them to my home, moving it ahead with my feet as I walk, the general belief that I hold is that, something good is going to come my way if I can successfully take a pebble close to my place. I keep them beneath a tree by the sidewalk.
Well! thanks for reminding me of this today!
Embracing the child in me keeps me sane!
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Adhyapika 