Where did you go on a vacation? Ah, me! I just stayed at home every day of the 1 month vacation that I had and boy! didn’t I enjoy every moment.
What did you do? Some writing, mostly thinking and some brooding.
Home was to me my paradise this last month, a world full of options for rest, somewhat rare delicacies, well, I rarely cook those, with ample time for dreams, day and night, for cooking up grand plans, of taking time to look at the wardrobe overflowing with saris, of mixing and matching this with that and that with this, of writing anytime, of listening to songs, many of them, of binge watching movies old and new, of calling up people, I rarely do that, of filling up my journal with colourful fantasies of a colourful life, of trying my hand at learning a few shlokas from the Bhagavad Gita, renewing the vow to learn Kannada, dreaming of a clean swacchh India, no Bangalore, no RT Nagar, smiling and saying hi hello to a few neighbours and in general making the right noises about the difficulties of living, of stubbornly refusing to step out of the house, of composting for a month now, of feeling delighted of being at home and putting on a few extra pounds with the excuse that I will lose it once the work starts again!
When the world was caught in the rains, in the waters gushing down the roads, I was blissfully marooned in the cocoon of my home.
I sat at home watching the little kids being rushed to school and them sauntering back in the afternoon.
I watched ladies literally run to catch the school bus and walk back home in relaxed groups.
I listened carefully to the morning noises, the afternoon excitements, the evening howls and the night time growls with the rain dance in between.
This comfort after years of angst, of struggle, of fighting against the wall that seemed to impede me, crush me beneath its weight, every time I tried to raise my head.
I thought of how so many times, for so many days, I would sit in the car, refusing to go home like a stubborn child, of how I preferred any activity outdoors to the four walls of the house.
And this last month I revelled in the freedom of having the place to myself, of scrubbing and cleaning and even talking to the walls.
Somethings reinforce the need to stay away and this past month put a stamp of approval on my decision to break free, break away to be the self…
Blessed truly!
Cheers to the new academic year! To new courses and new students! To new experiences! To a renewed promise to research, learn, write and grow!
Adhyapika 