Sitting at home now rather empty of the chirpiness of a young person, I look out at the lake almost drying up, the chorus of birds who never seem to stop their eloquent songs and sounds, perhaps trying to reach those who are waiting with an axe to cut down the last tree, I think of how I am sort of getting used to separation and solitude.
When my eyes wander and meet that of Andrew’s, he purrs in return and comes running to settle down next to the lap top. Andrew and his inquisitive tail have their nose everywhere, literally everywhere.
He goes to my daughter’s room and purrs and comes back to me.
But I am kind of getting used to myself and even liking it.
When you reason it out, separation, like, everything else becomes easier to accept.
So when you know that your child is making her future and you can’t be grumpy because you are selfish, you tend to smile at yourself.
When you know that the man you had in your life, taught you a few tricks of living, you are not complaining or victim playing but gracefully and even happily accepting the happy reality that you can get on with life.
When you know that the professional, ‘so- called’ injustices, opened your eyes to long side-lined tasks of greater value, you feel thankful.
Coz some parts of your soul awaken with love
some with pain
some with the slow release of controlled agony
some more with hope, hiding in the corners of your heart
waiting for a let out
‘let me be’
‘let me be’
‘I too shall find love in living’
Coz there are places aplenty
people a dime a dozen
The universe kindly smiles and lets you to learn and relearn, till you learn and learn it well.
Anu hates it when people ask this question.
The last decade unsettled her every which way.
Running from pillar to post, counting on ways to meet the ends.
So, she ran from job to job and home to home and relishing the fact that ‘ I am so compatible, see!’, marveling at her own adaptability in between her low, ‘tear shed’ and ‘heart break’ times. One thing she noticed is that the heart that trembled and the thoughts that muddled, cleared after she sent a few SOS here and there randomly. Some times there was help or a cheerful ‘hi’, sometimes there were none, but the expression of anxiety helps and a path does show itself.
Whenever, she sat down to take a breath, life whispered, ‘Here’s the new challenge! Go get that’, with almost an evil laughter.
So, when storms gathered threatening to submerge her , she put on her armor, wrote a few things, shed a few tears and rasped ‘here I come!’.
‘Oh! so it started like this, and now you are here., look at you!
;Oh! so you earned this much, and spent all, tsh, tsh.
‘But this girl, she is yours, wow, congratulations.
So, you are still smiling, how is that really?!!!’
Packing bags at landing at her home with a cry for help was never an option, so there she stood, as storms gather, clouds darken, she knows for sure a hand or two will reach out, most importantly the armor is intact and can stand a few more battles, so why not?
If spice is what life offers, take it and make a sambhar, aur kya???
Besides in the game of life, who ever settled, really!!!!
Trusting the pillar of hope
she climbed the ladder of life
a missing step sent a shiver
she leaned closer
‘love leave me not
ever never in your life
I alone can see you through
in times of strife’
She smiled to heave a mixed sigh
‘always I have come to you beloved
in moments of agony and pain
your words have some times soothed
sometimes been a mirage
yet I have trusted you alone
knowing well how
a mother bird tends to her chicks
a tigress to her cubs
hoping against hope
that man’s straying eyes do not find them’.
‘Stay’, I said to a memory
‘stay till you grow old
into an experience’.
‘then you would have done yourself right
been to me just
and made this world better’
‘But I gotta go’
said the memory floating away
‘those hearts are more inviting
some others are lacking
so many are forever wallowing
I need to fill their minds
feed them delights
make them believe
that’s my job, you see.’
‘You’ she said turning away
‘cling to what is not
fake what never was
hoping to turn it into reality
and accuse me of indifference!
Sorry,I am with those who turn sunwards.’
Then there was nothing!
Lend me an ear
give me a chance
hear me out…
Just listen to someone, any one, because it is a miracle in the happening.
By allowing someone just to speak out to you, you are doing a great service to humanity.
You are saving lives, hopes and dreams.
You are giving courage, strength and confidence.
You, by the virtue of being there, with your ears open, are a blessing.
Do not underestimate your value, the value of your listening to someone.
Alternatively, you can use the power of listening to your own advantage.
Speak out to the next person, even if it’s a stranger, about your life, your dreams and your hopes.
You are giving yourself a second chance by doing so.
You are keeping your aspirations alive.
“Hey, listen, this is what I have to say. Hear me out please…”
There is no ego to be lost in saying that. There is instead a lot to gain, maybe a friend or at least a lighter heart.
Well! you can also speak to yourself, if you can’t find any one.
That is good enough too.
Just talk yourself out of anything that weighs you down.
Or look around and read the signs.
The universe is constantly talking to you. All you need to do is to tune in.
It is amazing how little we listen and how much better our lives would be if we only listened to our own hearts and to what others have to say or are sometimes trying to say.
By listening, I don’t mean the usual “listen to me,now”, the-kind-of-urgency-creation to follow an instruction, but just listening with empathy.
I was at work when I got a message from a friend that I love dearly, “hey, blah…blah..blah and I am feeling terrible..blah..blah..blah”.I don’t remember much about what I said or how it helped but surely I was thrilled to bits. Did I feel privileged that he chose to talk to me? Perhaps.
As a teacher I get to listen to my students as they share their fears and worries.”I am not high class enough, you see. That is why it happens to me all the time”, said a girl otherwise bright and cheerful.
After they read about the gruesome rape and murder of a young girl, my girls came to me ,”What do we do, mam? How do we now go out and follow our dreams? Our parents are so worried,” they said.
A dear friend diagnosed with breast cancer recovered quickly and credited her speedy recovery to the support of friends.
“It helped me a lot”, she said, “that all of you kept talking me out of my fears and that you were always willing to listen to my anxieties.” Her courage impressed her physicians, her friends and her family.
The other day I called her,” Listen to me,will you?.” ” Of course, I will”, she said.
“What else do you want me to do?,”she asked eager to help.”Just that, I want only that”, said I realizing the value of having someone listen to me.
It seemed like a pact. And it surely is working.
I have a small group of friends and family that willingly listen to me, at my worst or my best.
While my father, my brother and a few select friends listen to me, I spend a lot of time listening to my mother,my daughter , my students and my friends.
At work or at home or wherever you are, keep your ears open, there might just be some one around who wants to talk to you, just you and it is a privilege to be talked to. So don’t let go of the opportunity to lend a helping hand to someone and help yourself in the process…
All ears, aren’t you?
When at last he came
I was tired of waiting
having gotten used
to my loneliness
I said, stay back
leave me alone
but he so insistent
bent down on his knees
holding my hand gently
sought my company
on a whim I winked
and smilingly joined
him on his chariot to oblivion
speeding ahead of all that lived
racing past the sun
high above the clouds we went
to enter a lifelessness
of love and longing
where at the cafes
hanging out like buddies
were translucent creatures
holding me close he said
“now no life can separate us”
and we rocked the dance floor
against thunder and lightning
and some ethereal music
that I cannot gather now
sometimes death is such a tease
& to think of him is such a joy!
*After the darkest days
beyond the harshest experiences
the soul still smiles
that’s the secret of life*
*Even in the silence of my tongue
my heart is eloquent
the one who listens
knows me well*
*Coz death comes home
a compulsive visitor
in your joys or sorrows
the wise open the door
smile gracing the soul*
*Unbeknowest to me
I held forth a promise
a seedling that grew wild yet strong
in the harshness of time and chance
when recovering from amnesia
the moment I acknowledged
the promise that I am
I know I exist*
*When at last you came
I had put up my hopes
dusty dreams were thrown out of my cupboard
in the nook and crannies of my heart
debts and ditch sat side by side
but then you came
opening a chink in my armor
spreading like fragrance in my head
and it seemed like a good life again*
As you step into the college,my love
I realise you are a lady in your own right
except for the bits of girlie-child-like part in you
hanging around like the fringes on your forehead.
(I am reminded of how I went to college
dreaming over a certain someone)
I hope you do better in man- grabbing as well as life- earning
those vital ingredients for happiness.
Even if you clue into someone,don’t lose your moorings altogether
for there are many other bye lanes to happiness & contentment.
Most importantly make the best of what is yours
own yourself and feel proud of who you are.
Believe firmly in the infinite possibilities of yourself
for always you have been a proud little one
sure-footed,kind and considerate
be the same.
You will meet men & women of all kinds
the smiling villains and the unsmiling ones
the gentle,the kind and the lovelorn ones
watch,make friends,enjoy the ride.
At times,lend a hand,stop to smile,pat a back,be a friend.
The dreams you hold are truly yours,trust them.
Let no man ever belittle you,your dreams, your aspirations
if they do, don’t hesitate to walk away.
I am around as long as I can, if I am not,believe me ,I am still around.
So long, go ahead,reach out, rule the world.
Writing to know what I think.
Viewing the kaleidoscope of life from Kolkata, India and beyond.
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