Life was never meant to be a race. There is no prize for being the first to get somewhere, for being the most popular, the most liked, and so on. The Sun never rewarded any flower for blooming first. Nor did the Earth announce prizes for the birds who flew the fastest. The vast universe has place for everyone, allowing each to reach his prime in his own time. Yet, in his race to be the best, the fastest, the most liked, the richest and so on, man forfeits the time he has on the planet to chase glories that last a few likes or a few shares. So, stop, hold yourself, take a deep breath and appreciate yourself. Your time is good time. Your journey at a slower pace is good, the different path you chose is amazing and your milestones are waiting…
Coz, at any given time, you are the best that you could have been!!!
-Said the Universe
Tag: #life
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Ask not for the gold
nor diamonds nor riches of any kind
Seek not the skies
the moon or the stars yonder
Ask instead for a handful of dust
a pillar to sometimes lean
a hand to hold and be held with
a sense of belonging
a shared laughter
a pursuit of growth
that which does not shrink your being
nor ask you to look down on what you hold true
that which is close to your soul song
that which allows you to spread your smile
expand in gratitude and be open in kindness
that which lends life and spark from within
this be true
this be the truth of being.
PS: If there is purpose, this be it!
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What be your lessons, Sir
She asked Life and he was quiet
Turning pages and busily
scribbling destinies in his notepad
he looked up briefly and pretended
not to hear her anguish or her cries
what should I do now, Sir
to get you to notice my submission
presented to you in full detail
this be so and that so it be
how far, how long and how close
when and why and what not
but I notice, she said
in great distaste
You obviously have no time
who said you were the leveller
you for all I know
build walls of age, gender, community
divide against our will
and cause pain, deep agonizing pain
He noticed her agitated hands
drawing circles and breaking tensions
he watched the whimper that reached the lips
the tears that rushed to the eyelids
fearful of making a scene
He smiled to himself
and briskly added another chapter!
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ചാഞ്ഞിരിക്കാൻ മോഹിക്കുന്ന മനസ്സിനോടെന്തു പറയാൻ
തൂണുകൾ താങ്ങു തരാൻ ആഗ്രഹിക്കുന്നിലെന്നോ
അതോ മരങ്ങൾ തണല് നല്കുവാന് വിസ്സമ്മതിക്കുന്നുവെന്നോ
ചോദ്യങ്ങൾക്കു എന്ത് ഉത്തരമാണ് നൽകേണ്ടത്
ചായ്വ് ഒരു മഹാ വെൿനെസ്സ് ആന്നെന്നോ
അതോ മതിലുകൾ വേർതിരിക്കുന്നവയാണെന്നോ
മോഹങ്ങൾക്ക് ആരു തിരിച്ചറിവ് കൊടുക്കും
കാറ്റിന്റെ മര്മരവും സൂര്യന്റെ വെളിച്ചവും
രാത്രിയുടെ നിശബ്ദതയും വേദനകളാക്കുന്നത്
ഏപ്രിൽ മാസത്തിന്റെ മാത്രം പ്രതിസന്ധിയാണെന്നോ
അതോ നിഴലുകൾ നീളുന്ന യാമങ്ങൾ
ഒറ്റപ്പെടലിന്റെ നീണ്ട നെടുവീർപ്പുക്കൾ
വെറും തോന്നലുകൾ മാത്രമണ്ണെന്നോ
മരണത്തിന്റെ പതിഞ്ഞ കാല്പാദം
സന്തോഷത്തിന്റെ പുതിയ ആദ്യമാണെന്ന്
കരുതാം അല്ലെ ഒരു പക്ഷെ അതായിരിക്കും ശരി.“April is the cruellest month, breeding Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing Memory and desire, stirring Dull roots with spring rain. Winter kept us warm, covering Earth in forgetful snow, feeding A little life with dried tubers.” Chaucer
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Sometimes when I think of my so called ‘international worries’ of completing my thesis writing, I know for sure that I have come a long way indeed.
From times of worrying about the bills and having sleepless nights of tossing and turning to, this, days of studying and complaining of not finding time to do it well!, what a blessing indeed!
That alone should make me happy, and ensure that the smiles stay and grow.
Do you have any worries, asked a swami long back, when my brother was very sick, I remember smiling and saying ‘none’. He laughed, you are strange, no body comes here without worries, I just looked at him and moved ahead.
When the partner life brought to me, refused to budge, I remember thinking of finding the ‘moolah’ to run the home and doing ‘just’ that. Again even at that time, if someone had asked me, ‘do you have any worries’, I would have said, none.
Coz, of course, it did not occur to me that somebody’s else’s indifference is my problem to correct, especially when you have the blessed task of nurturing a child at your hand! Who would want to waste time!
I didn’t and dived deep into the task at hand and forgot everything else. For years, I defined living on the basis of doing, now when life gives me the freedom to choose what to do, I am lost, unable to make the choices, and wondering of ways to go and easily choose books over anything else! for good or bad!
In the uncertainties of life, all one can do is to keep the smiles and go on, coz, who knows what is next, what really is!
Perhaps we all should just take a leaf from Whitney Houston, and say the greatest love of all, is the ability to accept self and love it as it is. A whole philosophy of living is embodied in the style and rendering and the lyrics of this beautiful song!
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love flooded in through
the crevices of her soul
filling bits of bright sky
in the corners of her heart
and streaming out into
her glistening eyes
smiles grew warmer
in the winter
the sky nonchalant, lost and shy
for long, so far woke up to her
and reached out in joy
‘you look happy, shall I join?’
but there were new friends
visitors and the light breeze
a few birds and the cat that meowed
thronging into her life
as she stood up to dance
thinking, ‘why I did not know this?
why did I stop the music within?
why did I silence the chatter of dreams
reams of fantasties, giggles and laughter rolls
and look for light elsewhere hiding the lamp within!
‘Now, you know’, said the universe.
Ps: Be your own champion!
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Be with me, will you
she told the sky and he smiled
she asked for a moment
And he turned around
Out against the raging storms
the rising oceans
the smouldering clouds
her heart waned and waxed
in love and pain and hurt
in moments of gloom
he sometimes became a twinkling star
yet so far so far so far
she feared the heart that yearned so much
the tongue that spelt
the thoughts that felt
deep imprints on the soul
but the voice,ah, the voice
like none she found
called out in dreams
and lonely nights
bewildering and soothing all at once
fearful of showing
and tearing to break
the dreams strecth asking for courage
travelling on sighs the tears swell
the spirit though looked on and laughed
as if she were a stranger far
so gathering cold spread from
outside in or inside out
thus, she thought and held silence!
Ps: thoughts that rise
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I sit at home grumpy,sad and irritated. There’s no friend in sight. Nobody. Not a soul.
Friends, colleagues families have packed and left for the long weekend. I knew this was coming. I knew I am going to feel low. I knew it is going to hurt big time and it did.
But it is difficult to reconcile with reality even when you know what is and why it is so. Except for Andrew’s long and short meows there is no noise at home. Instead of research that I should do I am angry and upset for no particular reason.
I wait for a friend to turn up. Friends have friends and families !!!! I am busy playing the victim, the god forsaken soul, left on an island… why? why?
Fine. I decide enough is enough solo is not solitude and like Matteo Bocelli I will find my way.
Solo, Matteo Bocelli Besides I am good at taking care of myself. I will do it. So I set off to get a bicycle yep to ride to glory.
Its been years since I did it but it should be good. The cycle shops are not selling cycles anymore but a fashion statement and my purse is going to be stretched too far… I come back now less gloomy!
Anyways, back home I have a visitor, ‘ would you like to dance for the dandiya?’ dance, me! Well, I wanted to invite your daughter but since she is not here, why don’t you come, said the neighbour in a compensatory tone.
‘Ok!’ I say, desperate for company, ‘I would love to, nay, I will’ and end up attending 2 practice sessions and go all the way to hit the dance floor literally!
My body is not amused at such onslaught of vigor, ‘what for’. it demands angrily and sulks big time!
But dance I did in my effort to find new friends and some new spaces outside the books, research and I must say I enjoyed it.
Walking in alone into a space of families did make me feel awkward initially but soon I got over it and relaxed, I counselled myself and said, ‘its ok, afterall alone is no crime, you are in a happy space, don’t you see that!’
I did of course, and soon lost myself in the dance.
Sometimes you got to shake the statusquo! So I did!
And found a surprise visitor at home!
And a promise of a friend who said, ‘I come when I say I will’ and I had to laugh!
Then says my dear chechi, ‘Lekha come home tomorrow ok!’. ‘I will’, I say happily.
Who does one thank except the universe for such unexpected offers of good company!
Ain’t it a good life after all!
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In order to quell the restlessness of my mind, running across different directions all at once and nullifying my efforts to pursue my researh interests, I take to the reading of ‘Autobiography of a yogi’ . I have read it before and will read it again. But to my surprise, there is a sense of calm that my mind refuses to allow me to open the facebook that evil occupier of my leisure time and directs me to read instead.
I am trying for sure and working hard too, but I do feel somewhat more empowered with this text by my side, a copy of Palgrave’s Golden Treasury, a copy of ‘Phenomenal Woman’ by Maya Angelou and some notes put up on the window sill and the almirahs, where I decorate myself with such endearing adjectives like, ‘smart lekha’, disciplined sreelekha’, ‘dr.sreelekha’, ‘power of learning’, ‘researcher’, ‘disciplined researcher’ and other such hyperboles, help me drown my doubts of ‘too late, too much!!!’, can I ? Am I doing the right stuff?’ and other such nigglers and guide me to work, just work, to be able to do enjoyable reading and try to make something of it, is it not good enough?
To be able to ask questions and to be told’, oh, but you are the first person to ask us this? ‘ , ‘I never thought much of this’, ‘I would like to read what comes of all this!’ at once puts a hell lot of pressure and it excites the learner in me.
But all said and done, thathastu to the completion of the thesis!
The universe lends a hand and smiles as always at the inefficient, yet tireless striving of a miniscule being on the planet, ‘each to his own’ , muses she!
But why am I reminded of Dr. Faustus!!!!????
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http://www.elise.com/q/quotes/yeats.htm
HAD I the heavens’ embroidered cloths,
Enwrought with golden and silver light,
The blue and the dim and the dark cloths
Of night and light and the half light,
I would spread the cloths under your feet:
But I, being poor, have only my dreams;
I have spread my dreams under your feet;
Tread softly because you tread on my dreams.W.B. Yeats (1865–1939)
“He Wishes For the Cloths of Heaven”
from the Collected Works of W.B. YeatsIf only one could tailor make friends who had time and good will, how wonderful it would be? How enchanting would such relationships of understanding be where words need not be spoken, mere thoughts would set sail, connect and collaborate? How is one to find souls alike in a journey so full of set backs?
Whither the sail, my friend, whither thy care and solace? What travails has the life to offer further? Wherefrom shall smiles now sprout from a soul so damaged?
What lessons, dear universe, does thou now offer? What tribulations to meet the journey’s end? Whither are the inns to spread one’s legs and sit down a bit, which comrade is to join to cheer?
Coz to walk the path of dreams is most difficult, to chin up and face is most daunting, tell me, dear universe, does thou send thy messaih, the saviour, the friend and the benefactor?
At what turn should she wait? What shall be the sign of care? Whither comes the stop?
Even the strongest can sometimes want to lean
the bravest sometimes might want to be shy
the winners may not always win
the courage too needs some filling
the giver may sometimes want to be given.