Tag Archives: #life

Sun & Dark clouds

When the dark clouds came

Sun beat a hasty retreat

‘Sorry, I should not have come

It’s your day to shine and pour

or vice versa’

It looked as if the dark clouds

did not take it kindly

and soon filled the sky

with their own light

somewhere though

the earth lay dreaming

awash with tears of joy

drenched in love

soothing her pains

bringing her pleasures

she smiled in sleep

‘they are mine’

she murmured softly

the Sun and the dark clouds’

fancy fantasises filled her thoughts

she dreamt of love

smiles curled

around her lips

eyes grew heavy

in painful pleasure

and the sky poured

down hasty, pounding

pulsating with life.

Truth box

Truth comes in bits and pieces

in little boxes waiting to be unpacked

scattered around corners of living

and the child of life

has to search, fall and rise

again and again

and get lost often

before the little bubble gums

are open for tasting

much mastication

of thought foxes

hiding behind intelligence

logical reasoning and customary wisdom

reveal snippets of truth pearls

blooming now

wear them

or

ingest them

do as you please!

The long hallways of life

stand quiet watching, watching, watching!

you heard me right and heard me true

You heard me right

you heard me true

when I said my friend

my life is mine

the pains are mine

and the gains are too

I hold no grudge

nor no rancor

I love your anger and your hate

I embrace your love

growing steadier

I bow in gratitude

for every pain

that made me grow

taught me strength

for this alone

has taught me truth

of the soul’s might

and its singular flight

on planet earth

I make a few friends

I lose many more

staying by

or walking away

you still are dear

coz we meet

and part

yet we stay on

together ever

and the learning goes on

so does life

then to write

to dream

to say a kind word

to help and be helped

this be the vision

of every life

here in the now

let me live

so should you

so should you

Coz you heard me right

and heard me true

Morning Fantasies

Coz the pain

didn’t stick to me

nor the hurt

nor the anger

nor the wrath

what stayed with me

is a smile bright and clear

a few hugs here

a few kisses there

of hopes and dreams

of the sky divine

I walk then free

of any guilt

I walk then free

of any hurt

in my hands

I hold my destiny

to turn it here

and to mold it there

coz my best is here

in today I find

a freedom dear

in the now

brightness everywhere

this little caesura

don’t take it hard

its just a break

to stretch my limbs

to soothe my nerves

sing some notes

dance a bit

spread some cheer

hold some dear

so be around

coz much is ahead

you and me

are a pair divine

with sky in between

we will rock the stars

go on be yourself

and then we shall

celebrate our togetherness

we shall meet you and I

in times sphere

now or never

though in our hearts

I am sure we meet

coz how else does

fragrance flow

dreams float

hopes sail

so hold on love

coz we got to meet

there is a time

for everything

and there is a time

for love in life

in my life

and in my space

coz more than ever

I am so sure

of love walking to me

slouching its way to Bethlehem

not some fierce monster

not the second coming

but the gentle love caring and so sure

walking to my present

to celebrate each other

to make a home

to hold a heart

to steer the ship anew

coz you gift me

a moment in time

and then its eternity.

PS: Post listening to Dona Winner’s A moment in time!

I am there for you- The magical phrase

Anu looked at herself and crumpled into tears, surge of sorrow mixed with joy that tumbled down from her core.

The words that washed over her soul like pure manna from heaven, that kindled her dreams afresh and somehow restored the faith that ‘all is well’.

‘Amma, said Anu has never ever spoken like this to me. Her words now are full of conviction, a belief, a pride and a sense of assurance for her daughter. ‘

This is new, so new to her,said Anu that a lifetime of longing is now being answered.

‘No one ever said that to me before’, said Anu breaking into tears again.

‘All those years, among friends, in family, I have longed to hear it. Sometimes, in desperation I reached out knocking a few doors.

It created in me a fierce self defence, a strong need to stand up and fight and move on and not spare time to grieve, never.

It strengthened me as much as it pained and one learns to live with it.’

Then comes her words, a symbol of her own self acceptance and her confidence which verbalized into a loud and clear, ‘I am therefore you, girl’ and it brought back spring into my life, added Anu.

The power of this statement can never be underestimated, Say it again and again to those around you, your children, your partner, your parents, the cause you believe in , your students, tell them, ‘No matter what, I am therefore you’ and watch how miracles unfold.

When you want to dive deep, you need the springboard to propel you, to cushion you and that is what these words do to the listener, so go on, hold your close ones and tell them again and again, ‘I am therefore you, no matter what’.

Anu loves to say this to her son, whom she eggs to dream big and fly high, explore life in every which way, telling him constantly, ‘Come what may, I am therefore you. Go try, fail, get up, move on and whenever you want come back to me, Coz I am therefore you’.

Being a fierce warrior herself, Anu knows that there is nothing she will not do for her son, anytime, anywhere, how many times over.

Go on, and spell it loud and clear, ‘I believe in you, I am there for you, come what may’.

PS: Mom power, word magic

Of gratitude

To go back to studying when you are a full blown adult is not an easy choice. Yes, you take pride in having done justice to your parenting responsibilities, but you already are in that loop of EMIs and various other billing activities which tie you down, a caesura at this point is akin to harakiri, or so you think, or fear.

Then comes a mother’s heart calling out to you and saying, ‘ fear not child, do what you want for once, just do it’, and she laughs away all the fears saying ,’what are we here for?’

And a father who chips in,’ it’s not impossible, we are there for you.’

It is terrifying to think of the instability it brings, the staying away from work, even for a short time, the insecurities for someone who has prided on financial independence, yet, a promise looms and a hope and a cause calls, the call is persistent, deep, insistent, relentless and you cannot look away.

Then comes a message, a talk and an assurance, from someone I taught a good 2 decades ago, ‘I want to help you in your studies, just let me know’, it is just a word of promise but it lifts the spirits immediately, as if the universe answered a call, and calmed a fear, and smiled away a tear.

Years ago, I quit school teaching to move to the corporate, in need of a gainful employment, to pay the bills of course, again I remember how one of students asked, ‘What made you quit teaching? You would not have done that. You see, I am a corporate lawyer now. I can help you. Let me know what you need’. The words at that time brought tears to my eyes. I had expected such support from those in my immediate vicinity but there it came from a student again, who had just started his career.

I think of how the universe is assuaging my fears and holding out a hand, egging me on to a journey, whose turns I am not yet able to see.

Yet, it is true that there have been new opportunities and meeting with people who value my abilities in a slow, subtle manner that seems to be changing my universe in some ways, perhaps, a new horizon shines, a new friend or two waits, a new journey begins…

For the Ullysses in me, who wants to go looking after a sinking star, what could be better?

I now feel it won’t be difficult to find a school for Sunil to study, a place to work and learn for Chanamma, a place for me to grow as a writer and a student and to contribute to a cause so close to my heart…. perhaps that is what it is…..a place from where I can reach out and say to those I love and those who love me, here I am for you always…. I have everything to help you…ha, life… what learnings, what lessons!!!

Gratitude is all that I can think of…..

Ping pong

As certain as it seems to get

as knotted it remains as before

life’s yearnings and its many puzzles

push me hither, thither and everywhere

I hang on to deep feelings of trust

sometimes of distrust and doubt

rising out of the pit of my stomach

saying, no, not any more

but the yes, is rare and far in between

as if unsure of the authority of a ‘ yes’

but

why are ‘no’s’ becoming easier than the ‘yes’?

PS: Hither and thither we go

Of heart

Ah! quiet, quiet

dear heart

silent be your note

forget fear & embrace

time sits mastering

lives gone and living

a light breeze

tumbles castles

what is due is yours

making its way from afar

till then

count the stars

trust the sky for rainbows

smile.smile.smile.

somewhere a heart waits

somewhere a song meets

float the flame of hope

wait.wait.wait.

PS: life

Better together

‘You don’t look yourself’, the young lady, stopped to take a longer glance at her senior.

‘This is not how I saw you always. What happened, what is going on?’

‘Why are you like this?’

‘Do you know you inspire me, I have never talked to you but from a distance, I have always watched you.’

The senior stood quiet, a bit stunned and taken aback.

The young lady was talented, a writer and a professor of great merit.

‘Me?’

‘Yes, mam, you are a strong woman and I look up to you. Life is not easy mam, but I want to be strong like you.’

‘Don’t come like this, get back to your original self, please’, the girl implored.

The senior stood quiet, a flurry of emotions racing through her mind.

As she walked ahead she asked herself, ‘Is this true?’

Sometimes it is good to see yourself from others eyes, the eyes of those who don’t censure you because even when you know you are a fighter, a cheer from and a cheer from there does not hurt.

Sometimes it is great to see someone stop by a little longer to hear you out, it is like, ‘I know there is hurt, just get it out’, so they come with little pieces of advice and suggestions, ‘ self care’, ‘have fun , you see that is what you should do’, ‘ net work, hmm, that is the mantra of the day’, ‘ go on, travel, why not?’, ‘ call me, let’s talk’, ‘ come, come, just come out with me!’, ‘chalo, this movie is great, let’s watch it’, oh! wow, how do you manage to look so good!’, stuff that comes out of sheer goodness, a large heart and concern for another human being.

So, when she sees a fighter herself, she does not fail to go up and say, ‘hey, you are doing a good job! I admire you’. Sometimes it is a student who has captured amazing pictures, a song writer, a speaker, an entrepreneur, an aspiring writer, a future film director and so on, sometimes it is a colleague who stays back after the class to clear a few more doubts even when he is missing his lunch break, at other times it is a friend who manages to fight back or extend a caring hand to someone in need, ‘hey, what is there, mam, that is life right, to help each other’, the simplicity of human spirit enthuses you to look bright everyday, even when the skies are clouded.

So, who did you walk up to, to say a good word today?

‘Ps: Team spirit not just in Gabba!

Taka dhimi Taka JaM, Jam

‘Learning can happen anywhere,’ I reason.

‘What is the need to go?’

‘Here or there, how does it matter?

I gulp the uneasiness in my throat and laugh.

It is difficult to let the bird fly when all you want to do is to hold, hug, hold closer.

‘Little bird, little bird, don’t fly away, not yet, not now’.

But it is true that life has to go on and separation is inevitable.

The little bird has to go, build a nest and make a home.

A new home.

Where you being yesterday, can not make house in tomorrow, so said Rumi.

Hmmm…

Such is life.

Such is living.

Yet hope, keep the hope of love, of belonging.

And says she…

‘Now you don’t need me no, hun!’

‘Adopt, it seems, adopt!’

‘You are mother of all children, that child, this child, her smile, his talk…oho’

‘Ha..ha.. boyfriends also, hun…. What life!’

‘Outings also’

‘hun’

‘Yappa, plans!!!’

‘I want to see where all this goes, how far’

Rolling eyes

Pout

‘Don’t say you are busy, when I call, woman! hun!’

Silence!

Then taka dhimi taka jam

and a purrr!!!