Tag Archives: life

Solitary Learner

Sitting at home now rather empty of the chirpiness of a young person, I look out at the lake almost drying up, the chorus of birds who never seem to stop their eloquent songs and sounds, perhaps trying to reach those who are waiting with an axe to cut down the last tree, I think of how I am sort of getting used to separation and solitude.

When my eyes wander and meet that of Andrew’s, he purrs in return and comes running to settle down next to the lap top. Andrew and his inquisitive tail have their nose everywhere, literally everywhere.

He goes to my daughter’s room and purrs and comes back to me.

But I am kind of getting used to myself and even liking it.

When you reason it out, separation, like, everything else becomes easier to accept.

So when you know that your child is making her future and you can’t be grumpy because you are selfish, you tend to smile at yourself.

When you know that the man you had in your life, taught you a few tricks of living, you are not complaining or victim playing but gracefully and even happily accepting the happy reality that you can get on with life.

When you know that the professional, ‘so- called’ injustices, opened your eyes to long side-lined tasks of greater value, you feel thankful.

Coz some parts of your soul awaken with love

some with pain

some with the slow release of controlled agony

some more with hope, hiding in the corners of your heart

waiting for a let out

‘let me be’

‘let me be’

‘I too shall find love in living’

Coz there are places aplenty

people a dime a dozen

experiences ecstatic

in waiting….

The universe kindly smiles and lets you to learn and relearn, till you learn and learn it well.

Settled! Eh!

Anu hates it when people ask this question.

The last decade unsettled her every which way.

Running from pillar to post, counting on ways to meet the ends.

So, she ran from job to job and home to home and relishing the fact that ‘ I am so compatible, see!’, marveling at her own adaptability in between her low, ‘tear shed’ and ‘heart break’ times. One thing she noticed is that the heart that trembled and the thoughts that muddled, cleared after she sent a few SOS here and there randomly. Some times there was help or a cheerful ‘hi’, sometimes there were none, but the expression of anxiety helps and a path does show itself.

Whenever, she sat down to take a breath, life whispered, ‘Here’s the new challenge! Go get that’, with almost an evil laughter.

So, when storms gathered threatening to submerge her , she put on her armor, wrote a few things, shed a few tears and rasped ‘here I come!’.

‘Oh! so it started like this, and now you are here., look at you!

;Oh! so you earned this much, and spent all, tsh, tsh.

‘But this girl, she is yours, wow, congratulations.

So, you are still smiling, how is that really?!!!’

Packing bags at landing at her home with a cry for help was never an option, so there she stood, as storms gather, clouds darken, she knows for sure a hand or two will reach out, most importantly the armor is intact and can stand a few more battles, so why not?

If spice is what life offers, take it and make a sambhar, aur kya???

Besides in the game of life, who ever settled, really!!!!

Meenu, the Meemi-I

Meenu, the meemi lives in Puttenahalli Lake with her mom.

Last month her dad was abducted from the lake waters when he was performing a stunt for Meenu and her mom.

Dad was one of the handsomest of men around. Meenu’s mom always told her of how much he ingenuous his courting was, and what all stunts and styles he pulled off, to impress her. Mom said that she would not have married him had he not been so persistent. ‘Oh! thank you, mom that’s why I am here’, chirped Meenu as mom smiled on.

But it was not easy for the couple as many of Meenu, the meemi’s siblings died out of indigestion,breathing trouble and even cancer. Mom said that Meenu, was the bravest and she was meant to carry on the family’s legacy forward and that’s why she is still alive.

Meenu smiled at her pretty mom. Beauty, she is, this woman, kuchi kuchi poo, she kissed her mom’s belly and tickled beneath her fins. Mom smiled.

These days the loud noise of a faraway rumbling does not allow her and mom to speak, this is on top of the many other threats to their lives. Mom feels weak. She does not talk much now.

Neither does she smile these days after her father’s disappearance. ‘It has never been easy for us, to survive or have a normal death. ‘ Mom murmured sadly.

Meenu’s dad was a learned man, he often told of how the humans were pushing all their dirt into the water. The lake has dwindled over years, he noted from his gene memory. It may just disappear. ‘They don’t realize that to keep their air and water clean, they need us, fools!’

Free Free Fish Images, Download Free Clip Art, Free Clip Art on Clipart  Library
Meeu, the meemi @Puttenahalli Lake
Pelicans at Puttenahalli Lake, Yelahanka, Bird Sanctuary, pic by Kousik Nandy, 2004

https://www.thehindu.com/news/cities/bangalore/hc-notice-on-power-plant-near-puttenahalli-lake/article24381409.ece

Scholarly article on Fish mortality in Bangalore Lakes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LBW–O01sAw

Meenu, the meemi urges all to keep a tab on the developments in the water bodies around you, especially the Puttenahalli Lake,Yelahanka.

‘Sometimes, just come and sit by the lake, don’t carry with you items to litter but just yourself and a friend maybe. Sit and listen to the waters, the fish, the birds and know that you have the power to let me live :-), Meenu added, ‘not all humans are bad, are they?’

A walk would do!

‘A walk would do’, she said

‘just a walk

maybe a cup of coffee

sipping in the aroma of the evening

munching on yesterdays

some music from faraway

a book or two on the table


a pen to note down


thoughts floating by

a little of the evening sun

a quiet breeze lulling in the garden

a few leaves twittering

a bird here, a bird there

a friend to drop by

a simmering stove

some conversation

a quiet corner in a busy city

a small heaven’

life has been a rush

now I would rather rest’,

she stopped

and I sighed

‘long list,don’t you think’?

Just delusional!

Hovering in the corners of her dreams

a face fades but holds even as it fades

taunts, teases and tempts

while the heart searches reasons

the mind confronts with unnecessary passions

strangely its an array of events that never occurred

that disturb peaceful slumber with expectations galore

twisting and turning in an imagined agony of what is not

she spends her nights imprisoned in a love of what is never more.

‘Friend’, I start reasoning

‘I will unfriend’, threatens she unreasonably and I go mum.

PS: Spinning castles in the air

between letting go and holding on

it’s between letting go 

and holding on 

that a lifetime lies 

in breathing spaces 

the in- betweens

breaking free of cloistering 

chasing fresh air 

love sits delicately

‘grow’, she says 

‘each to his own

yet together

far away 

yet so close 

so dissimilar 

yet so familiar

prosper in open spaces 

foster wisdom and courage 

nurture self and the selflessness

argue, debate, shout in polite tones 

express, exhibit, emerge 

stronger 

more beautiful somehow

as trees do in the forest

as petals in a flower 

as branches in a tree

separate yet together’.

‘so be it’, the universe said.

PS: the beauty of self hood

Journey

the distance 

from us 

to ‘you’ and ‘me’

has been the most toughest of all 

so far 

yet 

as I stand up to stretch my hand 

I wonder of the gaps that will never fill 

for the wisdom to know less 

for the wisdom not to stand up for self 

what was yoked by brute force 

breaks 

and what breaks causes pain 

hanging loosely out of its anchor 

suspended in ‘trishanku swarga’

neither here nor there 

friend, you caused me much pain 

yet there is forgivance 

yet there is moving on

coz you should like I do 

prosper, prosper in spite of pain

for as anger melts away 

sorrow at an opportunity lost 

and a lifetime wasted

is all that lasts!

And the journey continues 

across chasms

‘you’ and ‘me’ to our separate destinations

you, do not know yours do you?

nor do I 

does it matter?

travel as long as it lasts…

PS: Post loss, post love, life continues

Broken hopes

a yawning gap

of misery sucks in

life and cheerfulness 

like a black hole

a hand to hold 

a shoulder to rest 

a few kind words 

is all that the soul seeks 

yet in giving 

in losing oneself 

there are hidden swamps 

pain, agony and sorrow 

claim life’s efforts to flourish

nay, just stay afloat!

what karmic paths lead where 

what joys will someday compensate

what the morrows hold 

just a plain gleaming vacuum 

of broken tinsel dreams 

searing torn hopes 

a knowledge of nothingness 

thunder, fire and lightening

an empty empty living. 

Kitty is back

Back from the boarding house and clearly proving our fears of being forgotten our dear cat, Messi is a bundle of nervous energy.

Running up and down the chairs and climbing the wall,to inspect the tube light which she had triumphantly brought down with a thud, and peering over the glass window, she presents herself to a ready audience as a woman of the house.

She runs to her table and sniffs for her food.

She checks on her toys and is overjoyed to find them intact.

She purrs at my daughter and allows to be pampered.

While we attack her with our anxiety to ‘see, it’s us’, ‘remember’, she prances around the place and reclaims her space with the eagerness of a squirrel+ a monkey + a puppy.

Messi, is clearly not a common cat, she is neither lazy nor lethargic.

She is a girl who loves to play and demands attention, well, wouldn’t she take after her humans? Purred I!

Not for her the lazing around

or gentle swishing of her tail.

Her ways are of the wind

Her meows angry demanding and questioning

Her tail a tool to test her own ability to solve a riddle

Her food is well, just food

Her interest in all things caffeine undeniable

In her kingdom she alone is the ruler

All others are her servile followers

Waiting for her with feverish passion and attention

Her humans are to her the ‘chief servants in residence’

As she quenches her thirst at the basins of wisdom

She allows others to applaud and cheer her living

If it is self-esteem, self confidence or self anointment

Learn it from Messi, who teaches it best by practice!

 

The Pillar of Hope

Trusting the pillar of hope

she climbed the ladder of life

a missing step sent a shiver

she leaned closer

hope whispered

‘love leave me not

ever never in your life

I alone can see you through

in times of strife’

She smiled to heave a mixed sigh

‘always I have come to you beloved

in moments of agony and pain

your words have some times soothed

sometimes been a mirage

yet I have trusted you alone

knowing well how

a mother bird tends to her chicks

a tigress to her cubs

hoping against hope

that man’s straying eyes do not find them’.