Tag Archives: living

Sunbeams

countless sunbeams

danced in circles

swirling in pirouttes

winding and unwinding

entangled cords as

dazzling handfuls of little joys

decided to present themselves

in patterns of intricate emotions

sparkling little bits of shiny happiness

swift footed and tending to escape

until she said ‘stay on, will you?’

But the sky was quiet

and she not morose

not this time…

Solitary Learner

Sitting at home now rather empty of the chirpiness of a young person, I look out at the lake almost drying up, the chorus of birds who never seem to stop their eloquent songs and sounds, perhaps trying to reach those who are waiting with an axe to cut down the last tree, I think of how I am sort of getting used to separation and solitude.

When my eyes wander and meet that of Andrew’s, he purrs in return and comes running to settle down next to the lap top. Andrew and his inquisitive tail have their nose everywhere, literally everywhere.

He goes to my daughter’s room and purrs and comes back to me.

But I am kind of getting used to myself and even liking it.

When you reason it out, separation, like, everything else becomes easier to accept.

So when you know that your child is making her future and you can’t be grumpy because you are selfish, you tend to smile at yourself.

When you know that the man you had in your life, taught you a few tricks of living, you are not complaining or victim playing but gracefully and even happily accepting the happy reality that you can get on with life.

When you know that the professional, ‘so- called’ injustices, opened your eyes to long side-lined tasks of greater value, you feel thankful.

Coz some parts of your soul awaken with love

some with pain

some with the slow release of controlled agony

some more with hope, hiding in the corners of your heart

waiting for a let out

‘let me be’

‘let me be’

‘I too shall find love in living’

Coz there are places aplenty

people a dime a dozen

experiences ecstatic

in waiting….

The universe kindly smiles and lets you to learn and relearn, till you learn and learn it well.

Settled! Eh!

Anu hates it when people ask this question.

The last decade unsettled her every which way.

Running from pillar to post, counting on ways to meet the ends.

So, she ran from job to job and home to home and relishing the fact that ‘ I am so compatible, see!’, marveling at her own adaptability in between her low, ‘tear shed’ and ‘heart break’ times. One thing she noticed is that the heart that trembled and the thoughts that muddled, cleared after she sent a few SOS here and there randomly. Some times there was help or a cheerful ‘hi’, sometimes there were none, but the expression of anxiety helps and a path does show itself.

Whenever, she sat down to take a breath, life whispered, ‘Here’s the new challenge! Go get that’, with almost an evil laughter.

So, when storms gathered threatening to submerge her , she put on her armor, wrote a few things, shed a few tears and rasped ‘here I come!’.

‘Oh! so it started like this, and now you are here., look at you!

;Oh! so you earned this much, and spent all, tsh, tsh.

‘But this girl, she is yours, wow, congratulations.

So, you are still smiling, how is that really?!!!’

Packing bags at landing at her home with a cry for help was never an option, so there she stood, as storms gather, clouds darken, she knows for sure a hand or two will reach out, most importantly the armor is intact and can stand a few more battles, so why not?

If spice is what life offers, take it and make a sambhar, aur kya???

Besides in the game of life, who ever settled, really!!!!

A walk would do!

‘A walk would do’, she said

‘just a walk

maybe a cup of coffee

sipping in the aroma of the evening

munching on yesterdays

some music from faraway

a book or two on the table


a pen to note down


thoughts floating by

a little of the evening sun

a quiet breeze lulling in the garden

a few leaves twittering

a bird here, a bird there

a friend to drop by

a simmering stove

some conversation

a quiet corner in a busy city

a small heaven’

life has been a rush

now I would rather rest’,

she stopped

and I sighed

‘long list,don’t you think’?

Just delusional!

Hovering in the corners of her dreams

a face fades but holds even as it fades

taunts, teases and tempts

while the heart searches reasons

the mind confronts with unnecessary passions

strangely its an array of events that never occurred

that disturb peaceful slumber with expectations galore

twisting and turning in an imagined agony of what is not

she spends her nights imprisoned in a love of what is never more.

‘Friend’, I start reasoning

‘I will unfriend’, threatens she unreasonably and I go mum.

PS: Spinning castles in the air

between letting go and holding on

it’s between letting go 

and holding on 

that a lifetime lies 

in breathing spaces 

the in- betweens

breaking free of cloistering 

chasing fresh air 

love sits delicately

‘grow’, she says 

‘each to his own

yet together

far away 

yet so close 

so dissimilar 

yet so familiar

prosper in open spaces 

foster wisdom and courage 

nurture self and the selflessness

argue, debate, shout in polite tones 

express, exhibit, emerge 

stronger 

more beautiful somehow

as trees do in the forest

as petals in a flower 

as branches in a tree

separate yet together’.

‘so be it’, the universe said.

PS: the beauty of self hood

Journey

the distance 

from us 

to ‘you’ and ‘me’

has been the most toughest of all 

so far 

yet 

as I stand up to stretch my hand 

I wonder of the gaps that will never fill 

for the wisdom to know less 

for the wisdom not to stand up for self 

what was yoked by brute force 

breaks 

and what breaks causes pain 

hanging loosely out of its anchor 

suspended in ‘trishanku swarga’

neither here nor there 

friend, you caused me much pain 

yet there is forgivance 

yet there is moving on

coz you should like I do 

prosper, prosper in spite of pain

for as anger melts away 

sorrow at an opportunity lost 

and a lifetime wasted

is all that lasts!

And the journey continues 

across chasms

‘you’ and ‘me’ to our separate destinations

you, do not know yours do you?

nor do I 

does it matter?

travel as long as it lasts…

PS: Post loss, post love, life continues

Hedge the hog!

Hurtling down the road to nowhere

at a rate that surprised her

a bump here a bump there

a turn here a tear there

then a fast fast run

a sudden twist

and a long long fall

into the blue blue waters below

heading into the azure land that spread beneath

she looked up to catch

a rainbow smiling from above

a smile that spread across the sky

and hit the earth hard that it bloomed instantly

into a sea of many hues

birds laughed

some trumpeting was heard

heavens had a belly hard laughter

at the antics of the hedgehog!

The Other Day Thought

The other day

I thought of death

I often think of him as a friend

waiting to embrace you for who you are

the most minimalist

sans pretension, sans words, sans the body even!

more kind and forgiving than life itself

“at birth a seed is planted into your soul

a seed that grows into who you are

as you grow and blossom

lengthening your tendrils and roots and branches

as you romance the breeze, the earth and the sky

you blossom continuously, unraveling what is within you

day by day,hour by hour, minute by minute, second by second

you grow into your own unique beauty of a parallel world

you brighten from within infinitely, each to your own, in your own course

none too wrong, none too right, just there, wherever you be, who ever and what ever you be

you bring out what is within and bring in what is without

as fruits ripen, so do you, with actions, passions and in actions run your course

like the flowers that fall, so do you then fall, to return to where you came from and it goes on!

So said she

‘Love’, said she

‘sit down by the sea

harken  the waves ashore

singing songs of bonds eternal

many universes have we traversed

you and I

many moons have we spent

on distant planets

before we meet

here at the sea shore

in these bodies we wear

so it must be

that you yearn for me

and I for you

the sun,the moon and the stars

have witnessed our sojourns

across the skies

in forms unknown

to our mortal eyes

what could otherwise explain how

what causes you pain

should spring from my heart

what causes me joy

should step forth of yours

listen to the silence of the stars

they speak through their blinking eyes

listen to the sweeping winds

gushing past all life

listen to the murmur of the sands

they hold stories of times untold

listen to the clouds

pregnant of truths unspoken

rest your weary head and heart

at this hearth, by the sea!’

Ps: Of how she spoke!