Tag Archives: #love

Settled! Eh!

Anu hates it when people ask this question.

The last decade unsettled her every which way.

Running from pillar to post, counting on ways to meet the ends.

So, she ran from job to job and home to home and relishing the fact that ‘ I am so compatible, see!’, marveling at her own adaptability in between her low, ‘tear shed’ and ‘heart break’ times. One thing she noticed is that the heart that trembled and the thoughts that muddled, cleared after she sent a few SOS here and there randomly. Some times there was help or a cheerful ‘hi’, sometimes there were none, but the expression of anxiety helps and a path does show itself.

Whenever, she sat down to take a breath, life whispered, ‘Here’s the new challenge! Go get that’, with almost an evil laughter.

So, when storms gathered threatening to submerge her , she put on her armor, wrote a few things, shed a few tears and rasped ‘here I come!’.

‘Oh! so it started like this, and now you are here., look at you!

;Oh! so you earned this much, and spent all, tsh, tsh.

‘But this girl, she is yours, wow, congratulations.

So, you are still smiling, how is that really?!!!’

Packing bags at landing at her home with a cry for help was never an option, so there she stood, as storms gather, clouds darken, she knows for sure a hand or two will reach out, most importantly the armor is intact and can stand a few more battles, so why not?

If spice is what life offers, take it and make a sambhar, aur kya???

Besides in the game of life, who ever settled, really!!!!

Meenu, the meemi -II, Enter Nandu

Meanwhile, in an apartment next to the lake, little Nandu logged into work at 8 am. To his friends, who asked him where he went everyday, he said proudly, ‘I go to work with mom’.

Radha smiled indulgently at her son, he was her first love, her worst enemy and also her best friend. In the years after her husband walked off, Radha had panicked initially but soon, set out to find herself a job. She found out a recruitment agency for cleaners and immediately joined. There was no time to waste. The boy was her lifeline. His future was her dream and her responsibility. Her mom did not press her to return to the village, with farm labour being harsh and low paid, it was better that she stayed in the city.

That decided it. Nandu faintly remembered his father and his parents’ arguments. Anyways, he liked Ramu uncle, he seemed to be a kind soul, better. It was difficult for him to love those who were harsh to his mom. With her big bindi, petit figure and curly hair, his mom was a beauty, he thought. He hugged her tight and dug his nose into her waist to inhale the faint santoor soap fragrance. ‘Amma’, he said simply.

Ramu had a small grocery shop and never hesitated to lend Radha and her son, the essentials, even when they did not have money. ‘I know, it is difficult, pay me back, when you get a job’. Radha said, ‘Thank you so much’. Ramu always gave Nandu a small toffee or two with a quiet smile on his face.

When his mom went from one apartment to the next with Deepa aunty to collect garbage, Nandu tagged along. He sat on the stairs and played with his toys. The car that went, vroom, vroom and then the bike, both were gifts from some aunt in the apartment. He liked it here.

When he first came, he saw many kids and had thought that he could play with them. But it did not happen. And Nandu realised why, when he was invited for a birthday party and was made to sit on floor. There after, he never tried to talk to kids out there. His friends were in the colony and that was enough.

Radha told her son ‘We are coming to work here. Don’t do any mischief. Don’t try to talk to everyone. If you study well, you can also live like them when you grow up. ‘ ‘Audhu, amma’, Nandu said . Life had given him more wisdom than what his age allowed.

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Nandu loved playing with his blue ball

Walk in and out

Take time. Test a few. Walk in and walk out. Think.

Wait for your dream partner, but explore as you wait, true love is bound to come.

The young man good looking and eloquent spoke of his mantra of love and relationships.

It seemed to her like a test ride.

She listened carefully but she had to wonder how it is about hearts, to peep in, stay and walk away, it must take a lot of heart, and cause a lot of hurt.

Perhaps it is a generational thing.

Perhaps it is just a defense, a mask, a put on.

Yet, she said, ‘I am sure there is someone for you. Being so eloquent, a man of words, young, ambitious and handsome to boot.

Try not to walk in and out of hearts.

Try staying to connect.

Try to find meaning.

It’s your staying that will make it different, for yourself and for her, your girl. ‘

This was not her usual confessing student but a friend from sometime, someone between an acquaintance and a friend maybe, yet she said what she had to say.

‘Was I being prejudiced? Was I judgmental?, asked Anu fearing if she had over stepped the boundary.

‘None’, said I. ‘It is for him to decide. You just shared your perspective. It is ok. He asked and you spoke’.

I looked at her and thought how she was wary of putting her emotions where it would hurt.

Must be her experience.

But where will she go, without starting at all?

I said nothing fearing that I might cross the laxman rekha myself!

Then I saw her smile so positive and knew it is all just fine.

Maybe I am overthinking!, I chided myself.

PS: Just friends

No, not yet

‘Coz you came back, friend’, she said

‘I tell you this

don’t speak

not yet

not now

not a word

not a sound

just close your eyes

and breathe in deeply

I shall feel your thoughts

touch your feelings

embrace your ideas.

Holding on to hopes

in the chill of December

to keep us both warm

among icicles of cold shouldering

indifference galore

insensitive to say the least

let love manifest

in forms the universe finds fit

till then, ciao!’

PS: digital living