You are like a man! said the ‘man’ of the house, hurling the words at me as if it were an abuse!
I knew that my efforts at ensuring my 13 year old daughter had a decent life, that the rent was paid, that there was food to eat by putting in more and more hours at work were out of best of intentions.
It did not occur to me even once to turn back and run to my parents when my ex decided to quit his job and relax! at home.
As I pushed myself into more and more work, I was also doing my best to stay away from the toxicity that enveloped my place and keeping myself sane if only to be the mother that I want to be and the daughter that have to be to my parents dealing with the pain of seeing their son struggle with a difficult disease.
But words stick, and how!!!
I was not perhaps great at grooming even otherwise but then I lost all interest in it and went about as I was without stopping in front of the mirror for years together. I was single mindedly focused on the upbringing of my daughter, managing my self in a space that seeming increasingly unsafe to me, pretending ‘all is well’ back to my parents and doing whatever possible to keep the income steady.
That meant that I changed five homes in a span of 10 years and 5 jobs too!!!
Yet, the other day, when I sighed how I lacked a certain daintiness of a woman, my friend smiled in understanding, who says so, ‘You are the most elegant as a woman. You also have a kind heart, and a great value system. You are also a good leader!’, I smiled at her in gratitude.
We all can do with a few good words from those who mean what they say, don’t we?
For I have always been aware of the power of words and been mindful of their capacity to hurt and hence use them carefully, yet, I wished if to be a recipient of kinder words myself.
A friend, I greatly enjoyed talking to recently turned distant and I felt deeply hurt at words that came my way, kind words don’t cost much, but why so harsh, I wanted to ask???!!!
As they say, the true wealth is kindness alone! So, spread it generously!
For those who are at the receiving end of harsh words, know that it is not the person, it is his/her state of mind that speaks harsh, so forgive, forget and move on!