Tag Archives: #yearning

To Thesisification! Thathastu!

In order to quell the restlessness of my mind, running across different directions all at once and nullifying my efforts to pursue my researh interests, I take to the reading of ‘Autobiography of a yogi’ . I have read it before and will read it again. But to my surprise, there is a sense of calm that my mind refuses to allow me to open the facebook that evil occupier of my leisure time and directs me to read instead.

I am trying for sure and working hard too, but I do feel somewhat more empowered with this text by my side, a copy of Palgrave’s Golden Treasury, a copy of ‘Phenomenal Woman’ by Maya Angelou and some notes put up on the window sill and the almirahs, where I decorate myself with such endearing adjectives like, ‘smart lekha’, disciplined sreelekha’, ‘dr.sreelekha’, ‘power of learning’, ‘researcher’, ‘disciplined researcher’ and other such hyperboles, help me drown my doubts of ‘too late, too much!!!’, can I ? Am I doing the right stuff?’ and other such nigglers and guide me to work, just work, to be able to do enjoyable reading and try to make something of it, is it not good enough?

To be able to ask questions and to be told’, oh, but you are the first person to ask us this? ‘ , ‘I never thought much of this’, ‘I would like to read what comes of all this!’ at once puts a hell lot of pressure and it excites the learner in me.

But all said and done, thathastu to the completion of the thesis!

The universe lends a hand and smiles as always at the inefficient, yet tireless striving of a miniscule being on the planet, ‘each to his own’ , muses she!

But why am I reminded of Dr. Faustus!!!!????

SKy

Sit

I told sky

who was wandering by

hold, smile, clasp even

he smiled and shrugged

you see, limitless as I am

my time is limited

I wipe the tears

turn on the sun

and shine the moon

to her my lover, the earth

I give my everything

I hold, caress and comfort her

yes, I know you and have noticed you

your thoughts and your yearnings I hear

trust me when I say, I am there for you

and he vanished azure

Ps: reaching out to sky

Ping pong

As certain as it seems to get

as knotted it remains as before

life’s yearnings and its many puzzles

push me hither, thither and everywhere

I hang on to deep feelings of trust

sometimes of distrust and doubt

rising out of the pit of my stomach

saying, no, not any more

but the yes, is rare and far in between

as if unsure of the authority of a ‘ yes’

but

why are ‘no’s’ becoming easier than the ‘yes’?

PS: Hither and thither we go